Apparently its ok for state sponsored kidnapping. If this were me, I think I would probably have to be asking myself, "what would Uki do?"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...041302445.html
Banned
Apparently its ok for state sponsored kidnapping. If this were me, I think I would probably have to be asking myself, "what would Uki do?"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...041302445.html
har har har
it's truly sad that a father has next to zero rights... i have three children at home and one with an ex, but the ex doesn't like me and tells the court that i am not a good father and they side with her(obviously)... i have seen my 9 year old daughter for 7 minutes on christmas day in over a year as i fight this tooth and nail in court... i have finally finished all my court ordered evaluations and will find out soon enough just how flawed the system is... the mom says i am an incompetent father, yet i have had the same job for nearly 6 years now, had been paying 500 dollars a month for a child i could not see and then do my best to make my ends meet with the money i have left over... the mom on the other hand is a lying, sleazy, selfish ****ing ***** with a lawyer father from new york, she changes jobs like socks, is miserable and two faced... her friends are all heroin users... when she used to go out partying, she'd call her gay friend and drop my daughter off over at his house instead of driving her to me 15 minutes away... she has two sisters with kids and both have done the same thing to their childrens father after the break up... anyhow, excuse the ramble... this is the only stress in my life at times, but i know all things happen for a reason - everything works itself out.
and as for what would uki do?? LOL... i can't say, i am not in that position - my girlfriend has a fine set of high standing morals and ethics and even if we were to break up, i know that she would allow me to see my children because a child needs both parents in their life... i also laugh at my troubles because i WANT to see my kid and she WANTS to see me... most other fathers are the opposite - they could care less if they see their kid because it would kill their game.
Last edited by uki; 04-15-2010 at 03:45 AM.
Itinerant practitioner
yep, those laws could stand some updating.
domestic disputes are never cut and dried and it is ALWAYS 'he said/she said'
For instance, Uki, as critical as you are of your Ex, as you state, she is just as critical of you. You both feel you are right and the other is wrong. This is almost always the case.
Even though you may feel and think that your current is good and will be good even if things fall apart, you should think about that statement. It could be entirely different
Things don't always work out. You have to actively participate in making them work out.
People are at time incompatible with each other and function at an emotional level. When rational and intellect kick in and the emotional high wears off, they start to see the relationship for what it is.
What's important is that you don't lose sight of knowing yourself. Understanding yourself and understanding yourself in context to how you socially negotiate your way through relationships with others.
Understand why people can't stand you and you are halfway there. Sit down and describe why you are not liked by this person. Think about it, digest it, internalize it.
Ultimately, you have to live within rule of law and rule of law doesn't care how you feel. It is(should be) strictly following the legal guidelines. If you don't understand those legal guidelines, look em up, study em. If they are wrong, write a letter to your congressman and address it. Start an awareness campaign. It will take work and don't think your emotional rants will sway anyones opinion or view.
You have to make a legal case, or a rational case against the law as it stands to get the wheel rolling on changing it.
Kung Fu is good for you.
Loud City
I'll tell you what's some bullsh1t. Men have to pay 1/2 of the care of raising the child, in a figure determined by the court, but the woman gets to claim 100% of the tax exemption for the child if it lives with her more than 51% of the time. And don't get me started on spousal support.
He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher. -- Walt Whitman
Originally Posted by David Jamieson
Seven Star Prophet
Well you were stupid enough to date and then have a child with this woman, so obviously your judgement is in question.
This is the problem when you have religions dominating government as you do in Utah. They only respect/recognize the legitimacy of those that fall in line with their beliefs. Oh you’re not a good married Christian couple, then you have no rights, because we know better than you that this baby needs both a mother and father (who go to church). God told us so.Its amazing how few rights/protections men have as fathers
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Is very uneasy
Not if they want to take their son back to a Communist dictatorship against the mother's dying wishes.
When given the choice between big business and big government, choose big business. Big business never threw millions of people into gas chambers, but big government did.
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men" -Samuel Adams
Is very uneasy
I'll tell you a good story.
Years ago at my last job, some guys were talking abnout this. One guy in particular had a good story. He had gotten a divorce and they had a daughter. The mother had primary custody, so he had to pay child support. The guy was a tech, and made around 40k/yr. His wife had started a diet program with two of her friends that took off. The women became multi-millionaires. She even paid cash for a 7-figure house in Westlake. But every time her ex got his annual raise (usually around 4-8%), she took him back to court to get his child support payments increased.
When given the choice between big business and big government, choose big business. Big business never threw millions of people into gas chambers, but big government did.
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men" -Samuel Adams
Registered User
OMG! bout time this topic showed up. Im divorced, and carry with me first hand the horror of being dragged into a divorce. Lose your kids, your stuff, your income, your savings and your treated like a felon from the get go, then get your head around alimony even if she works and child support which automatically labels you a dead beat, felon or worse. If your male and your considering marrying you have lost your minds, the system gives her all the power in the relationship and the courts. I have re married, thank you God she is not American. Ill say it again if your considering getting married sit down with a good lawyer draft an air tight pre nup if she isnt willing to sign it dont marry, everything you own now and will own down the road has her name on it and she knows it. My wife wasnt to thrilled about signing a pre-nup but she understood and agreed.
for the moment Im done venting but could re-write War and Peace with my experiances over the last ten years.
Itinerant practitioner
yep, one bad apple and that barrel is spoiled.
You guys may have horror stories, but I can say with sureness that there are a great deal of women out there who have suffered as well.
The general swing of things is based off a general track record afterall.
For men overall when it comes to paying child support, dealing with divorce etc etc, well sorry, but the track record is bad. Men screw it up time and again, penalties get harsher and harsher and still there are failures to comply, etc etc.
It has all snowballed into what we have now.
Mostly, what needs to change is attitudes. Mostly by men.
case by case is how it goes and if you take your emotional baggage and anger into court, you are gonna screw yourself.
always have a lawyer do your speaking for you. Never speak for yourself in a domestic case that involves child support or spousal support.
The Law doesn't care if you're mad or you think it's not fair.
Kung Fu is good for you.
O R’LYEH? IA, R’LYEH!
This is why getting married in the US is a really horrible idea, and giving a woman a child of your blood is almost as bad.
The idea of fatherhood is a crushing responsibility I want no part of, but....
If I ever do have a kid I will use a surrogate and hire an unrelated wet-nurse and nanny.
If I can't afford that.. then I am perfectly happy not procreating.
"The first stage is to get the Gang( hard, solid power). every movement should be done with full power and in hard way, also need to get the twisting and wrapping power, whole body's tendon and bones need to be stretched to get the Gang( hard) power. "
-Bi Tianzou -
Registered User
David the LAW needs to care a lot more then it does. In overwhleming numbers men are the ones punished in a divorce, not for breaking the law or committing a crime but for the mere fact they are men. The system has been rigged here in the US since Gerald Ford changed the child support rules and the way it is handled, now thru a government run organizations, so you know thats gonna end up well. Divorced men have suicide rates that would make your head spin and bankruptcies? dont even get me started. I shudder when i think how it is handled in Canada it makes our draconian rules pale in comparison. Sure women want divorces, 80% of them are filed by them, wonder why? cause the system favors them in virtually every case. The advent of no fault has made it not only easier but profitable for them and the lawyers. It is an evil system designed to wreck a fathers relationship with his kids. How a father can be expected to be an active participant in his kids life every wednesday night and every other weekend while shelling out half his income and trying to counter the venomous garbage she fills your kids head with is not going to happen. Reform is needed today.
I dont know if youve been thru one but the feeling that you have no control of your life and your input in your kids lives is stripped away ,under the lie that women by thier nature are better parents. This is equality? women make up more college graduates then men, they are excelling in every academic level and in a few years will be the largest earning block in the US so they are suffering from lack of income and education no longer flies but we remain tethered to laws drawn up in a differant era. For the moment Im done.....
Loud City
That's bad, but I have a worse one. I personally know a guy who married a woman that already had 3 kids. He did not adopt them, but their fathers (plural) do not provide support for the kids. After 14 months, he couldn't take her anymore and left, and she sued him for abandonment and now he pays spousal support AND child support for 3 kids that are not legally or biologically his.
He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher. -- Walt Whitman
Is very uneasy
Can I have some of what you are smoking?
When given the choice between big business and big government, choose big business. Big business never threw millions of people into gas chambers, but big government did.
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men" -Samuel Adams
Is very uneasy
That's nuts. I'd just move to a foreign country (no one will extradite you over a civil matter), and send her a card every week saying, "You greedy *****. Now you get nothing."
When given the choice between big business and big government, choose big business. Big business never threw millions of people into gas chambers, but big government did.
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men" -Samuel Adams
Banned
Its more than just issues of divorces and what not too. This is another issue where laws are so varied state to state. Some states have time windows before a mother is required to designate a father. Some states do not require a mother to designate a father at all. My thing is, why is it up solely to the female to be the one that has to designate who the father be? This case with Emma Wyatt reminds me of another from a couple years back. The mother was not required to designate a father at all. She broke communication with the father, had the baby and put it up for adoption without the father even knowing he had fathered until long after the adoption was finalized. When he finally found out, it was a long legal battle just for him to get a paternity test.
Its just really lame. And you know that had the John Wyatt's girlfriend had wanted the kid, she'd be raking him for child support, yet he has no say in whether or not he gets to be in his daughter's life?...
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