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Thread: Bizarro World: mma comps run by "traditionalists"

  1. 07-16-2010, 09:44 AM #1
    KC Elbows
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    Bizarro World: mma comps run by "traditionalists"

    The events:

    speedbag
    heavy bag
    the throwing dummy
    jumping rope
    traditional smack talk
    Holding orthodox stance
    Holding southpaw stance
    touch sparring, no head shots, anything close to fighting will lead to prompt disqualification

    Seminars offered:

    The killing jab
    Iron chin
    The medicine ball and lovemaking

    It all begins with the masters demo, in which the greats shadow box to the amazement of the kids.
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  2. 07-16-2010, 10:01 AM #2
    sanjuro_ronin's Avatar
    sanjuro_ronin
    sanjuro_ronin is offline GM of Hadaka Korosu
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    You forgot:
    50 meter shrimping contest
    Pummeling contest
    Full contact point stick fighting ( no contact permitted).


    Seminars:
    The Guard and Tantric sex, why YOU must learn it !
    The Clinch, History and traditions from Ancient Greece to Modern LA ( free lube for the first 20 participants.
    Psalms 144:1
    Praise be my Lord my Rock,
    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !
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  3. 07-16-2010, 10:05 AM #3
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    Lucas
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    Are there going to be any seminars on recovering the hidden ground work in my forms so i can defeat bjj?????!??!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.
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  4. 07-16-2010, 10:10 AM #4
    KC Elbows
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    There will also be free seminars on the proper way to sync a Disturbed song for your youtube video.

    All competitors will be expected to have their heads freshly shaved for the event. We will not have a repeat of Razorburn '09!
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  5. 07-16-2010, 10:10 AM #5
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    Dragonzbane76
    Dragonzbane76 is offline pagan kickboxing taoist
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    Are there going to be any seminars on recovering the hidden ground work in my forms so i can defeat bjj?????!??!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?
    yes right after thai kicks to thigh without the partner.
    Originally posted by Bawang
    i had an old taichi lady talk smack behind my back. i mean comon man, come on. if it was 200 years ago,, mebbe i wouldve smacked her and took all her monehs.
    Originally posted by Bawang
    i am manly and strong. do not insult me cracker.
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  6. 07-16-2010, 10:10 AM #6
    KC Elbows
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucas View Post
    Are there going to be any seminars on recovering the hidden ground work in my forms so i can defeat bjj?????!??!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?
    Learn it the proper way, in the bjj solo rolling division.
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  7. 07-16-2010, 10:11 AM #7
    Drake
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    I hated shrimping. I really hated shrimping over fire ant hills.
    The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
    ~ Mark Twain

    Everyone has a plan until they’ve been hit.
    ~ Joe Lewis

    A warrior may choose pacifism; others are condemned to it.
    ~ Author unknown

    "You don't feel lonely.Because you have a lively monkey"

    "Ninja can HURT the Spartan, but the Spartan can KILL the Ninja"
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  8. 07-16-2010, 10:13 AM #8
    KC Elbows
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonzbane76 View Post
    yes right after thai kicks to thigh without the partner.
    We've got a good deal on balsawood thighs.

    For those interested in spicing up your muay thai school, we will be selling breakable plastic banana trees in the lobby.
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  9. 07-16-2010, 10:14 AM #9
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    Dragonzbane76
    Dragonzbane76 is offline pagan kickboxing taoist
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    For those interested in spicing up your muay thai school, we will be selling breakable plastic banana trees in the lobby.
    .............
    Originally posted by Bawang
    i had an old taichi lady talk smack behind my back. i mean comon man, come on. if it was 200 years ago,, mebbe i wouldve smacked her and took all her monehs.
    Originally posted by Bawang
    i am manly and strong. do not insult me cracker.
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  10. 07-16-2010, 10:28 AM #10
    KC Elbows
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    Don't forget, there'll be fun rides for the kids, we've got one that's like a tilt-a-whirl with two cars called "Grandpa Helio's Nutride".
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  11. 07-16-2010, 10:33 AM #11
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    Iron_Eagle_76
    Iron_Eagle_76 is offline Ninja Vanish!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by KC Elbows View Post
    Don't forget, there'll be fun rides for the kids, we've got one that's like a tilt-a-whirl with two cars called "Grandpa Helio's Nutride".
    ROFLMAO!!!!!!! Dude, please don't say something like this again while I'm taking a drink, I just spit water all over my screen.
    "The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero projects his fear onto his opponent while the coward runs. 'Fear'. It's the same thing, but it's what you do with it that matters". -Cus D'Amato
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  12. 07-16-2010, 10:35 AM #12
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    lkfmdc
    lkfmdc is offline Troll Slayer
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    Quote Originally Posted by KC Elbows View Post

    touch sparring, no head shots, anything close to fighting will lead to prompt disqualification
    did you SEE the thread in the southern forum with the "point fighting"? Astoundingly, those WERE THE RULES
    Chan Tai San Book at https://www.createspace.com/4891253

    Quote Originally Posted by taai gihk yahn View Post
    well, like LKFMDC - he's a genuine Kung Fu Hero™
    Quote Originally Posted by Taixuquan99 View Post
    As much as I get annoyed when it gets derailed by the array of strange angry people that hover around him like moths, his good posts are some of my favorites.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kellen Bassette View Post
    I think he goes into a cave to meditate and recharge his chi...and bite the heads off of bats, of course....
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  13. 07-16-2010, 10:39 AM #13
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    Iron_Eagle_76
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    Competitors must wear head gear with cage, 30 oz. boxing gloves, two sets of shin guards, chest protector, thigh protector, mouth piece, elbow pads, knee pads, scrotum pads, and neck brace. No contact what so ever is permitted!
    "The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero projects his fear onto his opponent while the coward runs. 'Fear'. It's the same thing, but it's what you do with it that matters". -Cus D'Amato
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  14. 07-16-2010, 10:41 AM #14
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    lkfmdc
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    Read the thread, view the video

    http://www.kungfumagazine.com/forum/...ad.php?t=57678
    Chan Tai San Book at https://www.createspace.com/4891253

    Quote Originally Posted by taai gihk yahn View Post
    well, like LKFMDC - he's a genuine Kung Fu Hero™
    Quote Originally Posted by Taixuquan99 View Post
    As much as I get annoyed when it gets derailed by the array of strange angry people that hover around him like moths, his good posts are some of my favorites.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kellen Bassette View Post
    I think he goes into a cave to meditate and recharge his chi...and bite the heads off of bats, of course....
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  15. 07-16-2010, 10:44 AM #15
    KC Elbows
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    We're dedicating this competition to the year 2007, which, as you all know, was the year that mma finally proved what all fighting is, at which point nothing novel could possibly be intoduced to the complete knowledge laid at our feet by sifu Gracie and the Fedor Luohan.

    This competition is being provided by Frank Dubbles Academy of MMA. Come in and check us out, and maybe join the "smoker's club" where you get to feel what it's like to fight a stranger knowing it will be a safe and non-confrontational two minute round with a trainer from Frank Dubbles Academy of MMA doing real fight-like activity. Join now!
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