Originally Posted by
gareththomasnz
My book is pretty straight forward and hype free unlike my sales page which I expect to get a copywriter to fix up shortly.
Don't apologize
That kind of landing page hype is what sells products on the internet. You can't just be like "hey, this program teaches Iron Palm."
You have to be like:
HEY!
Are you TIRED of GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED???
Have you HAD IT with BEING POOR AND UGLY???
Would you like to be TOUGH and BANG SUPERMODELS?
How would you like to BANG THEM on your YACHT?
And how would you like to pay CASH for that yacht and still have enough money left over to buy HOOKERS AND BLOW for 1,000 of your CLOSEST FRIENDS???
All you need is my SUPER FUN HAPPY MONEY MAKING PRODUCT.
Let me tell you a story.
I used to be poor.
And ugly.
And girls laughed at me.
BUT THEN I DISCOVERED SUPER FUN HAPPY MONEY MAKING PRODUCT and now I have HUGE MUSCLES
AND 15 GIRLFRIENDS (all of which are supermodels)
And 3 yachts
And my OWN AIRPLANE
But it's not some poor person airplane, it's a 747.
I will teach you the SECRETS of becoming TOUGH, and SEXY, and RICH for one low price of only $17!
But hurry, this offer ends soon!
Unfortunately, it's all the shit products (like Forex robots and make money online programs) that use that kind of advertising that kills it for the few decent products out there.
You said you're going to have a copywriter make some changes to your sales page... Seriously though what you should do is come up with a few different sales pages and then get one of those scripts that rotates them and keep stats of which one converts better, and then stick with that one. You probably know that already, though. What you will probably find is that the one with the most hype has the highest sales conversion rate.