Helping Kids Who Get Bullied at School

[Tainan Mantis]

My Wife's friend was telling her of some other lady's 12 year old kid who is catching all sort of bullying.

Here are some examples. In physical education class. One coach supervises four classes at once, yes four!!
So, in order to watch and supervise all four mobs of kids he drives from one corner of the huge field to another corner in his little golf cart. The tuff guys pick on the little guys in a bad way with this sort of supervision.

Another specific instance, in the madness of lunch time, a group of kids always does evil, the latest being that he got a banana shoved up his nose.
This sort of thing has been happening non stop since he started going to middle school three weeks ago.

Of course, I think the best bet is to join my kung fu school.

But, I wonder how other teachers here help kids who are getting bullied at school.

I have not taught in the states for very long, mostly in Taiwan. The only case of my teaching a kid who gets bullied, I just taught him MA and said nothing (actually, the parents didn't tell me). Just him getting the confidence of training has kept the bully kids away (as far as I know).

Looking for any stories and tips that I might be able to present to a mom, or better yet, some sort of play acting in class that helps kids deal with the situation at school better.

Thanks!

[Tainan Mantis]

I saw a video where the teacher advised those kids who get bullied to use their hands and nails to claw down the face of the bully and then go and tell the teacher.
The instructor on this video said that with claw marks on the face the bully can be identified by the teacher.
That seems like an insane idea!

But one that stuck in my head because of its zaniness.

[MasterKiller]

As an instructor, you can't teach kids to fight back in school because Zero Tolerance rules result in both kids being punished, even if it happens off campus during non-school hours.

You have to notify teachers, principals, and bus drivers to watch for behavior.

That being said, as a parent, my daughter has my permission to physically engage anyone who pushes too far.

[mooyingmantis]

As a parent...
When my son was in elementary school several years ago the school called to tell me that my son had been in an altercation with another student. It wasn't my son's fault, the other child had started it. The principle informed me that the school had a zero tolerance policy concerning fighting and that my son was not allowed to defend himself. I informed the principle that I also had a zero tolerance policy concerning violence. And if another child put his hands on my son, my son was trained in martial arts and was expected to kick the child's ass and then I would sue the school system for not sufficiently protecting my son while he was in their care. Funny, but I haven't received another call since that discussion.

My advice to my students concerning bullies, POUND THEM TO DUST!

[MasterKiller]

I informed the principle that I also had a zero tolerance policy concerning violence. And if another child put his hands on my son, my son was trained in martial arts and was expected to kick the child's ass and then I would sue the school system for not sufficiently protecting my son while he was in their care. Funny, but I haven't received another call since that discussion.

My advice to my students concerning bullies, POUND THEM TO DUST!

Good way to get your students kicked out of school or their parents possibly sued. The same "undue force" laws that apply to me defending my home also apply to kids in school. If you use more force than necessary, you're susceptible to legal repercussions.

When my students have to fight, I teach them to control the kid until someone responsible arrives.

[Violent Designs]

Teach that kid to fight for real with a lot of sparring and yeah, if that crap goes on (getting a banana shoved up your nose? way too far) well elbow one of this little ****s in the face and see how he feels.

[Sardinkahnikov]

Good way to get your students kicked out of school or their parents possibly sued. The same "undue force" laws that apply to me defending my home also apply to kids in school. If you use more force than necessary, you're susceptible to legal repercussions.

When my students have to fight, I teach them to control the kid until someone responsible arrives.

This judicialization of our everyday life is pure bullsh!t, man. You can't take somebody's right to defend themselves, no matter what some old man in a black nightgown thinks! You have to know what kids are like - if a bully isn't stomped, he won't stop because he's a coward little snot who likes to pick easy targets.

Back when I was in school, there were 4 kids who harassed me everyday. As my brother suggested, I solved the problem by smacking two of them really hard with a steel umbrella (they don't make those anymore). Everyone morning I woke up to see how the weather was, so I had an excuse to bring the said umbrella into school, lol. I was suspended for like 3 days and my dad beat my a$$, but the problem was solved. They still tried to harass me for some time still, but they were, say, way more timid in their approach.

[mooyingmantis]

Good way to get your students kicked out of school or their parents possibly sued. The same "undue force" laws that apply to me defending my home also apply to kids in school. If you use more force than necessary, you're susceptible to legal repercussions.

When my students have to fight, I teach them to control the kid until someone responsible arrives.

My child's safety is more important than school and I am quite familiar with the laws in Ohio. Besides, dust can't testify to anything. :P

Controlling can be seen as fighting too. You are at the mercy of your child's principle and their interpretation of the events. Better to teach the bully a lesson and be suspended than to get your ass kicked and get suspended anyways.
Controlling only works if there is one child to defend against. My students NEVER assume there is only one.

[Knifefighter]

Best way to have kids not get bullied is to teach them social skills. Kids who have decent social skills don't get bullied.

Putting a kid with no social skills in a MA class simply results in a kid who is taking a MA class getting bullied.

[TenTigers]

yes and no, KF. Normal kids also get bullied by bullies with no social skills.

My daughter was being harrassed by kids because she was half Asian. When push came to shove, she handled it. Three boys ganged up on her, hit her in the face with a basketball, and she trashed all three. We were brought in and I basically told the principal the same thing moying said. My kid was sent home, so we took her out to lunch and a movie.
Another time a girl threw a football into her chest-she was sitting down talking to her friends at gym. The gym teacher did nothing, so she took care of it. Same scenerio-I came in, yelled at the gym teacher, the principal and then took my kid out to I-HOP and a movie.
(what is it with my kid and getting hit with balls, anyway..?)
No, we don't encourage violence in my family, but when they need to defend themselves, we will always back them.
Besides, I really like I-HOP.

[Syn7]

As a parent...
When my son was in elementary school several years ago the school called to tell me that my son had been in an altercation with another student. It wasn't my son's fault, the other child had started it. The principle informed me that the school had a zero tolerance policy concerning fighting and that my son was not allowed to defend himself. I informed the principle that I also had a zero tolerance policy concerning violence. And if another child put his hands on my son, my son was trained in martial arts and was expected to kick the child's ass and then I would sue the school system for not sufficiently protecting my son while he was in their care. Funny, but I haven't received another call since that discussion.

My advice to my students concerning bullies, POUND THEM TO DUST!

OMG i could not disagree any more... that attitude will only get your kid in trouble...

use only as much force as is needed to unsure safety... in elementary school nobody is gonna get shived in the throat... so, the worst that can really hapen is a few bruises... so i feel that its ok to defend yourself but NO MORE than is needed to either escape, difuse the situation, or make them back off... if a bully steps up, then a so called victim child takes the bully kid down, mounts up and pounds the snot out of the bully, sure it will teach the bully a lesson to an extent but it will also potentially incite future violence, sets a poor example for others and in turn makes the victim the bully...
lets say a bully comes up aggressive and pushes a kid... kid says no etc... bully swings... now the kid should counter enough to get away or send a message that you are able to hurt if if you have to...

but when you get older, the rules change... more aggression is usually needed... but these are elementary school kids we're talking about here... they dont usually curb stomp eachother...


so to "pound someone into dust", when really the worst that can happen to you is a bloody nose, is just wrong... these are babies man... thats not defence once you are in control and keep going, that turns into offence and thats not proper to be teaching a small child to act this way...

[MasterKiller]

OMG i could not disagree any more... that attitude will only get your kid in trouble...

use only as much force as is needed to unsure safety... in elementary school nobody is gonna get shived in the throat... so, the worst that can really hapen is a few bruises... so i feel that its ok to defend yourself but NO MORE than is needed to either escape, difuse the situation, or make them back off... if a bully steps up, then a so called victim child takes the bully kid down, mounts up and pounds the snot out of the bully, sure it will teach the bully a lesson to an extent but it will also potentially incite future violence, sets a poor example for others and in turn makes the victim the bully...
lets say a bully comes up aggressive and pushes a kid... kid says no etc... bully swings... now the kid should counter enough to get away or send a message that you are able to hurt if if you have to...

but when you get older, the rules change... more aggression is usually needed... but these are elementary school kids we're talking about here... they dont usually curb stomp eachother...


so to "pound someone into dust", when really the worst that can happen to you is a bloody nose, is just wrong... these are babies man... thats not defence once you are in control and keep going, that turns into offence and thats not proper to be teaching a small child to act this way...

This .

[TenTigers]

in my kids class, I focus more on throwing and takedowns. Dropping a kid on his back is usually enough to be a fight ender, and you don't have to worry about dealing with the parents of a kid with a broken nose.

[sanjuro_ronin]

I often wonder what would happen if my kids were bullied.
I tell them to it is wrong to hit and to hurt others intentionally, but that it is also wrong to ALLOW themselves to be hurt, I teach my oldest to protect herself and to go tell a teacher, beyond that I teach her to protect, hit and run for help.
Beyond that my wife asked me once what would happen if the school did nothing.
I said that I would go to the school and explain things, once.
Happens again and I would go there with my LAWYER and have HIM explain THEIR obligation to a "safe learning environment" to which THEY are responsible AND liable for.
Beyond that, I would find out who the kid(s) parents are and take it from there.

She asked me what I would do if the parents were asses.

Well...I would hope that I could find a solution without having to burn down someone's house and wait for them with a baseball bat and as they come running out, beat them to a pulp, shove them into the nearest sewer drain, drive to the lake, get a boat and row out to where they would come out and smack them in the face with the paddle when their pointy-ass head pops out of the water.

But that's just me...

[Syn7]

My child's safety is more important than school and I am quite familiar with the laws in Ohio. Besides, dust can't testify to anything. :P

Controlling can be seen as fighting too. You are at the mercy of your child's principle and their interpretation of the events. Better to teach the bully a lesson and be suspended than to get your ass kicked and get suspended anyways.
Controlling only works if there is one child to defend against. My students NEVER assume there is only one.

dude, you cant teach kids in grade school the same type of defence you would teach a kid in their mid teens, and certainly not like an adult...

kids dont get swarmed in grade 4... two on one can happen, sure, but its just a fist fight at worst, nobody is gonna be bootstomped... no need to defend yourself the way an adult would on the street...

on the street i will hurt you, i will touch your brain thru your eye sockets and tear your throat out and feed ity to ya... i would never suggest that to a child getting biullied tho... on the street its real life threats, at school, not so much