"Xerox Polaroids of yourself!"
"What Karate did to Kung Fu"
Mail order porn will never die.
How to refine your chops so that it only takes five pounds of pressure to break the human neck, not seven.
USSD suffers massive, unprecedented organizational split!
Ask Masterkiller: "MK, I do karate, but I find my parachute pants restrict my 360 kicks, I've tried switching to another dojo at the mall accross the street, but I'm having the same problem. Respectfully, High Karate." "MK: High Karate, I can't help but notice the source of the problem from your attached polaroid. Try watching my video tapes(on VHS and Beta), hint: it's a matter of counterbalance. until you're sporting something asw weighty as my Tom Selleck moustache, you cannot expect to ever do what I can do. This is not to say that simply doing the kicks in your forms is enough. As regular readers are well aware, you simply can't expect to develop functional skills without a real winning point sparring competition record."
Was on my way to the Dojo this evening when I ran into a friend of mine coming home from the gym. I teased him as I usually do about how all that muscle slows you down and make you unflexible, but did comment on his totally sweet BUM Equipment muscle shirt, awesome jams, and bleached blonde mullet.
I showed him my super high tornado kicks while wearing my skin tight Bugle Boy jeans, pegged at the bottom, while he held my boombox I carry with me everywhere.
"The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero projects his fear onto his opponent while the coward runs. 'Fear'. It's the same thing, but it's what you do with it that matters". -Cus D'Amato
Why I'm leaving, by Sanjuro-Ronin: Sorry guys, but the time I spend cutting pics out of girlie mags and sending them to you all, it's really cutting into time I can spend watching Galactica 1980. This show is gonna be even better than the original!
Been training for 20 years now and teaching for 10, but my instructor STILL wont teach me the super secret chi gung stuff.
He says if I continue on as a paying student for five more years there is a possibility he will give me one of his lower level super secret jow recipes. The herbs are actually picked by Shaolin monks who are defying the Communists and send herbs directly to my teacher.
He also said I only have about 60 more forms to learn to complete the system and then I will be a gnarly bada-s-s fighter like he was when he fought in secret death matches in China. So glad he assured me we didn't have to waste any time sparring to develop fighting skill. What a waste of time!
I wonder if he knows any of those Ninja moves I keep reading about in BB and IKF magazines?
Well, better go. I gotta take my totally awesome girl to see an AC/DC concert.
Last edited by mooyingmantis; 10-04-2010 at 01:09 PM.
Richard A. Tolson
https://www.patreon.com/mantismastersacademy
There are two types of Chinese martial artists. Those who can fight and those who should be teaching dance or yoga!
53 years of training, 43 years of teaching and still aiming for perfection!
Recovering Forms Junkie! Even my twelve step program has four roads!
Future of MA: Patches?
Hard to see your gwa sao with the flock of seagulls haircut?
Anybody heard of "steroids"?
Bruce Lee, The King and God of Kung Fu, now and forever Amen.
Why karate is a eunich comparably speaking.
Wing Chun, who has the real deal?
Hung Gar!!!!!
David Lee Roth of Van Halen is a martial arse expert!
================================================== ===
Kung Fu is good for you.
Just turned sixty-five!
Can you guys still do your kata? I can! Suckers!!!
Knifefighter
Just bougt a new pair of these pants called "Zubas", these comfortable pants allow me to kick really high with no restriction and you can wear them just about anywhere, because they come in different prints.
KUNG FU USA
www.eightstepkungfu.com
Teaching traditional Ba Bu Tang Lang (Eight Step Praying Mantis)
Jin Gon Tzu Li Gung (Medical) Qigong
Wu style Taiji Chuan
Teacher always told his students, "You need to have Wude, patient, tolerance, humble, ..." When he died, his last words to his students was, "Remember that the true meaning of TCMA is fierce, poison, and kill."
"the new american flag gi? is it against tradition?"
"musical kata, the future of martial arts"
"the most powerful technique in martial arts, the ax kick"
"acid wash, is it right for you?"
"Is Ninjutsu the New Kung-Fu?"
"Is Escrima the New Ninjutsu?"
"Chin-Na-China's Secret Weapon"
"Ginseng-the new "Superfood"
"Iron Palm-does it exist?"
"My Gung-Fu may not be Your Gung-Fu.
Gwok-Si, Gwok-Faht"
"I will not be part of the generation
that killed Kung-Fu."
....step.
What is the name of the martial art in gymkata?
famous hair designer Paul mitchell is forming a competition karate team, should I join?
KUNG FU USA
www.eightstepkungfu.com
Teaching traditional Ba Bu Tang Lang (Eight Step Praying Mantis)
Jin Gon Tzu Li Gung (Medical) Qigong
Wu style Taiji Chuan
Teacher always told his students, "You need to have Wude, patient, tolerance, humble, ..." When he died, his last words to his students was, "Remember that the true meaning of TCMA is fierce, poison, and kill."