Duty of Care

[joedoe]

Yes, a the Daewoo syndrome is nasty. You wouldn't believe the number of questions I get about this one. I really wish the government would just ban Daewoos because they really are dangerous. I've heard that on Oxford St. in Sydney, Daewoos are disappearing all over the place.

Back to you question though. A laxative can be OK as long as you use a gentle one like Metamucil or something. Nothing harsh as this can cause deep internal muscle bruising and eve STRAINED LIGAMENTS. I agree, mystical mumbo jumbo is no good. Dit da will definitely not work because there is no way it could penetrate deeply enough to make a difference.

The approach I prefer to use is to bait the Daewoo out. Use a Toyota Corolla or something like that, even a Ford Festiva will do. Definitely don't use the following:

Any Seat
Any other Daewoo
Any Hyundai

as they have a tendency to try and dive in as well. If it proves to be stubborn and won't go for the bait, then go further up the market and use a Peugeot 306 or a BMW 318.

If all this fails, you can get a proxy goktimus like a mercilessfighter or a bestallstyle to offer a better garage spot than you goktimus' butt. That will usually do the trick if all else fails.

[Fish of Fury]

thanks

also, i forgot to mention that it seems the impact of the Daewoo has dislodged a pie at the front end of my goktimus.it's really quite a mess.

should i attempt to clean this up myself?

a friend told me that goktimuses are used to having large objects like Daewoo's up their clacker, and in fact they prefer it this way.
any truth in this?
i just couldn't bare to see the poor little bugger suffer

[joedoe]

I would not recommend cleaning up the dropped pie yourself. This can be hazardous. Get someone who is trained in modern scientific methods to come and do this because mystical mumbo jumbo definitely could lead to some dangerous situations for yourself. In fact I have heard of cases of massive internal muscle bruising and STRAINED LIGAMENTS in people who have attempted to clean up the dropped pie themselves. Definitely do not use dit da to clean it up as it won't penetrate far enough into the floor to clean the mess properly.

As for the permanent Daewoo up the butt question, there are two schools of thought on this one, the Northern and Southern schools of thought.

The Northerners claim that this is OK. The reasoning being that Northern is best and if it weren't meant to be there, then it wouldn't be there. They also think that the Daewoo is in some way a catalyst for the action of the mitochondria in the cells of the goktimus, thus assisting in the simple process of Qi generation. This is based on pretty solid modern scientific facts.

The Sourtherners claim that it is not normal as a goktimus is not born with a Daewoo lodged up its butt. Daewoos can also cause massive internal muscle bruising and STRAINED LIGAMENTS. I subscribe to this school of thought, but it is often dismissed out of hand because it is based on mystical mumbo jumbo.

[Fish of Fury]

i know what you mean about southern mystical mumbo jumbo.i studied southern shaolin Mambo Do from master Jimbo the Mumbo Jumbo Jujitsu master.

but he recently read this forum and realised the error of his ways.
at first , on reading some of these posts i thought i was entering into a battle of wits with my opponents only half armed, but then i looked in my Big Bumper Book of Kung fu science under Dit Da and it said "see Mystical Mumbo Jumbo"

i now realise that my elderly sifu can't actually absorb a full power blow to the chest, i just THOUGHT i was hitting him. similarly the sensation i feel while doing QiGong is just the Dit Da failing to penetrate.

[Fish of Fury]

how can you tell if you have a Southern Goktimus or a Greater Northern Goktimus?


PS:apologies for my previous post, i almost discussed kung fu. i sincerely regret this indiscression , it won't happen again

look at all these ***gots ,i told you all along that the bondage kungfu of the south is for the weakings only now you all enjoy pain ,does any of you want to order a box of durian ,free of charge ,when you shove it up yours you will feel everyspike ,ask goose he loves it.you bunch of pain loving ***gots

kelvein chan

***GOTS from the bang bang southern kungfu : come children to my harem ,hospitality is free ,everything is provided from whips to durians ,Dont tell me we did not warn you lot about your ****** school. Come joint our northern praying mantis style and it will make mens out of you lot

guru

[joedoe]

A Greater Northern Goktimus is more prone to sticking its head up its butt. If it is not doing this, it is usually doing garage impersonations for Daewoos, or fisting itself.

The best way to tell the difference is the Greater Northern will tend to want to shove large objects (such as Daewoos) up its windward passage. Of course it will use the most modern scientific methods to achieve this and will avoid deep internal muscle bruising and STRAINED LIGAMENTS by eating a lot of Brie cheese.

The Southern goktimus on the other hand will use mystical mumbo jumbo like dit da and completely ignore the simple metabolic process of generating Qi to achieve it aims. Generally, it will not place Daewoos up its one way street the wrong way simply because it realises that it is not natural, but some have been known to do it. Generally, Southern's spend their time refining the art of pie dropping. A Southern often has deep internal muscle bruising around its forearms.

Hope this helps.

[joedoe]

AHHHHHH. We have more Goktimus owners wishing to learn more on how to care for their goktimi. Welcome to our discussion.

[joedoe]

Quote:
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Come joint our northern praying mantis style and it will make mens out of you lot
------------------------------------------------

Does this mean you will turn us into menstrual secretions? Is that what you guys are? Menstrual secretions.

[Fish of Fury]

but please phrase your goktimus enquiries in the form of a question.
coherent sentences would also be appreciated.
it's also vitally important that we all take ourselves way too seriously.

ABandit
thanks again. i obviously have a northern goktimus.the give away was the Daewoo.it has been removed, though not without many cries of "oww, this is painful, stop it"
next time i guess i wont remove it through the throat, but i thought it best to follow the direction of the majority of traffic.
i guess also that a pile driver was not the gentlest of surgical tools, but...you live and learn.

i've noticed that my goktimus has a number of small parasites attached to it, especially in and around the tunnel to brown town.what are these?
are they likely to cause harm or are they just a piddling annoyance?

[Fish of Fury]

i'd love a durian.they truely are the king of fruit...
...much like goktimus really

[joedoe]

Those parasites are known by many names: mercilessfister, 5starpraying***got, calm**** amongst others. They really are only one kind of organism though, and they aren't dangerous, just messy. Much like a menstrual discharge.

Ignore them and they will go away and hide in a different hole.

[Muhammad]

Look MercilessF@G/KelvinChan/MotherRaper, stop assumin that everyone wants to shove durians up thier a$$ like u, we know u do here is proof

<img src = "http://www.geocities.com/goktimus/sweet.jpg">

no one can have a facial like that unless they have durians up their a$ kelvin.

Thanks for comin... try a better argument next time durian lover.

There is only one god and Muhammad is his prophet

[Fish of Fury]

should i give my goktimus star flower oil?
i had assumed it was just grumpy because of the durians.perhaps it is a hormonal problem.
how long does it take for them to get out of adolescence?
if it needs further intervention, how do you make a hormone?