your own kung fu cult

[sanjuro_ronin]

Why, just to hear that name, it fills me with hate and loathing....

*whips fake centipede at MK*

[Mas Judt]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBK5aKOr2Fw

It never gets old.

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBK5aKOr2Fw

It never gets old.

I was just going to post that!!

*******!

[Faruq]

First, I would get myself a few pictures of me Jumping off of a roof top doing a side kick. Then I would manufacture stories about living with tigers and such. Then I would tell them I was the Champion of all Asia and charge them sick amounts of money for all sorts of made up courses, from regular course, to "Special Private" to Olympic course, and Black Belt courses, as well as supper expensive "Instructor's course"

I would go on and on about how simple stance training sets are the most advanced martial arts of all time, and profess to teach a form called "Ocean form" (that is really made out of badly done, uncorrected mantis moves) that is 14 hours long, non stop, never repeating a move twice. However, I wold never teach more than a hundred moves of it, and mix the form up every time I taught it because I forgot what i made up the time before.

Then I would make up a "Tiger Form" (using the previously mentions Mantis techniques) and say that is what I learned when I lived in the cave with Tigers.

I would also claim to teach 8 complete martial arts, as one, and never do more than teach parts of stuff I stole from Jackie Chan movies.

I would make ridiculous claims that my style is the original martial art, and all others came from it.

I would make up a form from watching old Honk Kong Kung Fu flicks. Then years later I would rename it "Tai Chi Chung", even though it has no resemblance to real Tai Chi at all.

I would start teaching a style called Bagua that I saw at a school when I still lived in Korea. However, since I only learned the first few moves, I'd just make up the rest. Hey, so long as they are walking in a circle when they do my made up nonsense, who's to know right?


I would create a compound and have all my servants *Ahem* I mean Instructors live there with me.

I would have people teaching for me for free, while working 2 and 3 jobs, only to hand thier paychecks over to me for magic Sip Pal Gey lessons.

I would make sure said teachers, who were born in the US speaking perfect English, learned to speak Pidgin English like a Korean with a heavy accent who never fully learned the language.

I would make students and instructors go buy me food, on thier dime, and never say thank you to them because I am an arrogant F u c


I would have my head regional instructors threaten to kill Pam Zeckman from channel 2 news, for exposing my cult to the world.

I would lastly, cry like a little girl and hide behind the couch when the feds raid my home...



Oh Snap!! John C Kim did that already!! never mind!!

You take that back, John C Kim is a saint! He's just as innocent as poor Rod Blagojevic! When are people gonna stop persecuting these innocent people just because they make a little money???? What is the world coming to???

[David Jamieson]

you forgot the </sarcasm>

[Taixuquan99]

My cult would be based around beer and building me stuff while I drink it. I would proclaim things like "use gongbu while you mix that concrete" and "reciprocating saw on, reciprocating saw off", and my students would be strong, like construction workers. Then, at the end of each day, I would gie them a beer so they like me, and then tell them reasons they should feel bad about themselves, but remind them that it could be worse, other people don't have me to tell them that.

Other people! We would just sit and laugh for hours at the thought of them. What losers!

[SPJ]

my cult dictate to be close to nature and music.

both cultivate character and emotions.

so must be a member of myspace following lady gaga.

she just got banned from china for vulgar.

must drink beer.

must be on facebook following lauren alaina (singing star upcoming)

must be on twitter and tweet about taylor swift

--

oh, member of LA hiking

adult swim club

singing in a band or church choir.

--

[SPJ]

if you have a lot of followers

on twitter

on facebook

on my space.

you have your personal cult.

me like following ideas and not so much person per se.

person is human. all have defects or imperfections.

ideas may be gold.

but ideas got twisted a lot. or it holds truth only to a certain extent (context)

--

wow. there is a diamond star 4000 light year away.

star chasing

star following

ideas following (idealology)

---

[Taixuquan99]

Ideas can be good.

But some ideas turn out badly.

No one ever died building me a walnut gazebo.

I learned this from a wise man from Nepal, once the gazebo is done I'll tell you more.

[SPJ]

my point was

it it all rite to hang out

in a bar, drinking and talking

on a social network/web, texting and commenting

--

as long as not go out and actually do something bad.

--

drinking beer is good.

talking is good.

doing something, wait, need to think about it first.

--

etc etc.

[Taixuquan99]

my point was

it it all rite to hang out

in a bar, drinking and talking

on a social network/web, texting and commenting

--

as long as not go out and actually do something bad.

--

drinking beer is good.

talking is good.

doing something, wait, need to think about it first.

--

etc etc.

What you say is reasonable and sensible.

While I would not form a cult, I might satirize the process in text. While my minions assemble the gazebo.

[sanjuro_ronin]

I see your Gazebo cult and raise you the cult of the Brazilian wax !!

[Taixuquan99]

I do not believe in clearcutting the forest. I am seventies man, so men should have hairy chests and women should have pelvis pelt. Modern men have turbed themselves into hairless chihuahuas in order to show their pecs.

Who more afraid of, body sculptor, or hairy chested Italian with manboobs?

More gazebo building, less talking. Lessons for paying members.

[Taixuquan99]

I can make you all better people. Send me five dollars, and I won't start a personality cult. For ten, I'll avoid ever using amber tinted sunglasses and prescription painkillers. It's not too late, send everything you can, and Jesus won't heal you by placebo effect when you touch my posts.

The ancients didn't tell me this. And I'll confirm that, if you send money now.

[sanjuro_ronin]

I do not believe in clearcutting the forest. I am seventies man, so men should have hairy chests and women should have pelvis pelt. Modern men have turbed themselves into hairless chihuahuas in order to show their pecs.

Who more afraid of, body sculptor, or hairy chested Italian with manboobs?

More gazebo building, less talking. Lessons for paying members.

You are wise beyond your years, like the man that tap dances on sour cream.