new commercial

[taai gihk yahn]

thanks taai gihk yahn , I really dont want to dump it ansd start over but I see your point. leaason learned about friends helping out to save money, but some commercials want 1000's of dollars for 30 seconds, I am not a rich kung fu teacher so I looked for ways to save money. thanks for all the feedback.

exactly - u got what u paid for; but more to the point, again, what is the rationale for having a video commercial in the first place? did u do any marketing research to ascertain if it was a viable means of promoting ur school? if u did and the study determined that u wud get back far more in revenue as a result, then u take out a business loan and pay for it; OTOH, I am guessing u didn't do anything like that;

furthermore, what is worse? no commercial or a sub-standard one by which people can (mis)judge what u offer at ur school? I bet that if u had someone in marketing look at the commercial they'd rip it apart worse than I ever cud - in other words, releasing it may actually b more harmful than just shelving it - the psychology of commercials is very detailed and established - working contrary to this established area of research can result in a negative perspective about u by the general public (remember, what u as a martial artist may think is cool, the average person may think is totally ridiculous - and why bother w a commercial if u r not appealing to the "average Joe"?); I mean, honestly, what u r doing is trying to use 2 things to motivate someone to buy ur product: fear and "cool looking" martial arts moves; where's the connection? no one wants to be scared into doing something, and how r they going to relate to the form demos, unless they already think it's cool and want to do kung-fu to begin with (and those people will a) find ur school on their own and b) probably have no $);

if u really want to use advertising effectively, find someone who knows what they r doing; for example, Lama Pai Sifu runs this:
http://www.fconlinemarketing.com/

[Mas Judt]

Look, I write & Direct TV commercials from time to time. Sometimes spending the money is worth it, as I assure you, you will waste your money if you run this on the air.

1.) The opening message has nothing to do with selling adult lessons.
2.) What you might think look cool, will not be what a newbie thinks is cool.
3.) Sell them how you are going to make them feel.

Get somebody who can write and edit this thing.

Anything more, I have to charge you. Sorry.

[Eric Olson]

The music, editing and cinematography are pretty good but there are some flaws in the messaging....

1) You have mispelled words and grammatical errors in the beginning. Which might not matter because....
2) The stats you list at the beginning don't seem to connect with what's happening in the video. You don't have any kids in your video so how are adults doing martial arts going to protect the kids that are being murdered and bullied? In otherwords, how does this solve the customers problem?
3) If I was a woman or kid looking at taking classes based on the commercial I'd head for the hills. If you are targeting a hardcore fighting demographic a bunch of guys sweating, throwing each other around and making mean faces might be a good approach. But if you are targeting a wider demographic then I'd suggest either making a couple of different videos targeted at different groups or one video that includes them all.
4) Also, you look to be a pretty big guy. Many people who take martial arts are smaller and want to learn to defend themselves against larger opponents. Therefore, it might make more sense to have some shots of one of your smaller advanced students demonstrating on a larger person.

In my experience as a video producer (I mostly do documentary work but have done a few commercials) the biggest obstacle to effective marketing is getting the client to be clear about their message. Everything else is window dressing and should work to support that message. So perhaps write out a one or two sentence message of what you want to communicate and then make sure everything in your video brings people to the natural conclusion that the message is correct.

Good luck!

EO

[Frost]

as others have said its too mixed a message id scrap it.

You talk of bulling and deaths and the need to defend yourself yet theres on kids on the clip, no weapons defence and absolutly no sparring or hard contact work. SOmeone looking to learn how to defend themselves will not be impressed by guys in iffy shape doing line drills and back flips its simply not what they are looking for

[David Jamieson]

marketing is less and less dependent on traditional media now than ever before.

between youtube, twitter, your website, facebook and other sites to drop into such as this one, you can hit a larger audience than ever before.

brands that have name cache etc will use the trad media moreso than new brands and new products which are almost exclusively pushed through internet media.