I will never understand China

[GeneChing]

One thing I do understand about China - they hate to lose face. Some heads are rolling at the People's Daily for sure.

Kim Jong-Un Named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive For 2012 [UPDATE]
November 14, 2012 | ISSUE 48•46

The Onion is proud to announce that North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un, 29, has officially been named the newspaper’s Sexiest Man Alive for the year 2012.

With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile.

“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” Onion Style and Entertainment editor Marissa Blake-Zweibel said. “And that’s the quality that makes him the sort of man women want, and men want to be. He’s a real hunk with real intensity who also knows how to cut loose and let his hair down.”

Added Blake-Zweibel, “Ri Sol-ju is one lucky lady, that’s for sure!”

With today’s announcement, Kim joins the ranks of The Onion’s prior “Sexiest Man Alive” winners, including:

2011: Bashar al-Assad

2010: Bernie Madoff

2009: Charles and David Koch (co-winners)

2008: Ted Kaczynski

2007: T. Herman Zweibel

The Onion’s commemorative “Sexiest Man Alive” issue will be available on newsstands everywhere this Friday and contains a full 16-page spread on Kim.

UPDATE: For more coverage on The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive 2012, Kim Jong-Un, please visit our friends at the People's Daily in China, a proud Communist subsidiary of The Onion, Inc. Exemplary reportage, comrades.

Follow the link below for the 55 (!!!) pic photo spread.

North Korea's top leader named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive for 2012
（People's Daily Online） 09:25, November 27, 2012
中文：金正恩被美网站评为最性感男人 集可爱霸气于一身

Edited and translated by Zhang Qian, People's Daily Online

U.S. website The Onion has named North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong Un as the "Sexiest Man Alive for the year 2012".

"With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman's dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper's editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile," it said.

"He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time," said Marissa Blake-Zweiber, editor of The Onion Style and Entertainment.

Posted at 10:44 AM ET, 11/27/2012
Kim Jong Eun as ‘sexiest man alive’? Chinese news site falls for an Onion story on the supreme leader
By Emily Heil

Move over Ryan Gosling — North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, accompanied by his wife, Ri Sol Ju, might be competition. (AP)

Looks like sarcasm is easily last in translation — or easily ignored. The People’s Daily, the online version of the Communist Party of China’s official organ, lauded a story from the satirical news site that named North Korean dictator Kim Jun Un 2012’s “Sexiest Man Alive.”

Not realizing that the Onion was being cheeky — or perhaps simply not caring — the People’s Daily ran a 55-page photo spread to accompany the story, which it quoted thusly: “With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true.”

No doubt the women of Beijing are swooning. After all, if you squint really, really hard, you might see a slight resemblance to George Clooney — in that they are both sentient humans.

It’s not the first time a foreign news outlet has fallen for an Onion spoof. An Iranian news agency last month reprinted an Onion news story about a poll that found most Americans would rather vote for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than President Obama. The news site later apologized for getting duped — but insisted that Ahmadinejad could beat Obama in a popularity contest.

[Scott R. Brown]

bawang should tell us just how sexy Kim is, since he is our resident racist Chinese, I mean resident Chinese cultural liaison.

I can identify a sexy Asian woman, and but not the men! It takes an a$$ assassin to discern that.

[GeneChing]

...don't encourage bawang.

[diego]

Chinese women can be a bit strange about sex.
Japanese women too, but they can be a bit more kinky.
True story:
I dated a Chinese girl for a bit and one day it got time for the "jade palace meets the thundering rooster".
She looks at me and says, nope, not gonna happen.
I ask why.
She says I am too big and we are not gonna get married, me being a gweilo (however you spell it) and that no one would believe she was a virgin after !
I assured her that no one believes she is one now, but for some reason that didn't matter.
So, handjobs, BJ's and backdoor action it was !

Weird, let me tell you...

she was scared of getting the fat white girl hips after dating a black guy syndrome lmao and her turds were bigger than yer ****...

[GeneChing]

Follow the link for pix. Or not.

China Holds Outdoor Masturbation Festival (NSFW)
Dec 4, 2012 by Jessica

December 1st was World AIDS Day, and events were held all across the world to raise awareness about the disease and to stop its spread. China took part as well, organizing various events, including this rather unique one: the first annual Chinese Masturbation Reception.

While the organizers certainly had their hearts in the right place, the sight of men going at it like chimps in isolation had some members of the public wondering whether they were going too far.

The event took place at a field in Shenzhen, Guangzhou Province, with seven men and three women participating in the performance, which organizers said they hoped would raise awareness about AIDS by being covered far and wide as China’s first ever masturbation festival. Indeed, news outlets flocked to cover the show.

Participants first performed using a blow-up doll, “fleshlight” male masturbation toys and other adult novelties, then the men in the group dropped trow and pleasured themselves, using small wash basins to cover their “important bits”.

According to the banner over the stage at the event, the grand prize would be awarded to the man who held out longest, with a second-place prize going to the one who finished first. There was also a telephone number for people who wanted to register to participate. The organizer appeared to be an individual or else a small organization, but as they were able to obtain sponsors for the event, it had a rather sweet earnestness about it.

A representative said that the inspiration came from a global event called Masturbate-a-thon, and thought that China could get “a little release” by participating this year.

That’s all well and good, and the spectacle of seven men, all lined up with their pants down and a bucket over their nether regions is certainly eye-catching, but the question is whether it really accomplishes the goal of raising AIDS awareness.

For more information on charitable events and AIDS, head over to the World AIDS Day site.

[GeneChing]

'this ***** just can’t be beat'

Sausage-Stuffed ***** Pancakes!
Apr 3, 2011 by Steven


The neighborhood of Ximending is located in the Northeastern part of Taipei, and is the Taiwanese hub of fashion and Japanese culture. Often referred to as the “the Harajuku of Taipei,” many fascinating sights can be seen just by walking up and down the streets, looking around at the numerous shops, and observing the customers that fill them.

Your reporters in Taipei recently stumbled across a food vendor that sells a corn dog-like concoction made by baking a sausage, coated in hotcake batter, in a special iron grill shaped like a *****.

The Taiwanese customers who visited the shop seemed to have no qualms about this startlingly detailed ‘***** dog.’ While we were there, we saw a number of people casually nibbling on their ***** while walking along the busy street. We noticed that they seemed to be particularly popular with children and high school-aged girls; the latter of whom would purchase one ***** to share among two or three friends.

You’ve got to admire the vendors, who seem to have no reservations about selling such raunchy treats in the middle of one of Taiwan’s busy shopping districts. Plus, at a mere $1.50, the price of this ***** just can’t be beat.

In Japan, there are a number of shrines dedicated to the worship of the *****. Perhaps this waffle wiener represents the start of a new ****-centric culture for Taiwan, or maybe young Taiwanese people are just comfortable with sexuality. The next time you’re in Taipei, why not try discarding those dated conceptions of the human body as something obscene and wrap your lips around a ***** pancake yourself?

[bawang]

ahh, that sweet pungent smell of cultural corruption and moral bankruptcy.

[YouKnowWho]

Chinese women can be a bit strange about sex....

The difference between a Chinese girl and American girl is in the morning, the

- Chinese girl will ask you when you are going to marry her.
- American girl will thank you for having good time together.

For some unknown reason, Chinese girls always assume that men are taking advantage on women.

[bawang]

do you have alzheimers john wang? you repeated this at least 10 times.

[YouKnowWho]

do you have alzheimers john wang? you repeated this at least 10 times.

I did? I thought I have only repeated that 7 times. I must have repeated the word "combat" over 1000 times. I'll try very hard not to repeat the word "internal" for the rest of my life.

[bawang]

you can post more video of your sexy pole dancing champion daughter and how proud you are. then you forget internal.

[David Jamieson]

To understand any society, you have to understand the nature of insanity.
Humanity in large social constructs are insane.

People free of those constraints are sane.

There are less of the latter than the former by far and the former will see the latter as the one with the problem and itself as fine.

What? You think you aren't slightly insane? Think again peasant. What is being a human being really? Now, compare that to what you do on a daily basis. You think it's sane trying to adjust to the nonsense all around us? That just makes us even less sane and the time line to reacquiring personal sanity even longer.

If I am wrong, there is no need for retreats, or to take refuge in the sangha, or any of the rest of the spiritual edicts that demand you remove yourself from society to understand your function.

If and when you get the chance to remove yourself form society, I strongly recommend you take that opportunity. It will only serve you well.

[Scott R. Brown]

For some unknown reason, Chinese girls always assume that men are taking advantage on women.

They ARE!!

To understand any society, you have to understand the nature of insanity.
Humanity in large social constructs are insane.

People free of those constraints are sane.

There are less of the latter than the former by far and the former will see the latter as the one with the problem and itself as fine.

What? You think you aren't slightly insane? Think again peasant. What is being a human being really? Now, compare that to what you do on a daily basis. You think it's sane trying to adjust to the nonsense all around us? That just makes us even less sane and the time line to reacquiring personal sanity even longer.

If I am wrong, there is no need for retreats, or to take refuge in the sangha, or any of the rest of the spiritual edicts that demand you remove yourself from society to understand your function.

If and when you get the chance to remove yourself form society, I strongly recommend you take that opportunity. It will only serve you well.

So, I should consider myself complimented when you called me insane then?

[GeneChing]

Contrary to the title of this thread, I do understand this. Apparently Jilin is home to Chinese rednecks. That being said, I can't really condone it.

Tourists at Jilin Ice Festival Shoot Arrows at Live Roosters
by Peter Barefoot on Wednesday, January 16, 2013 124

Several roosters are hanging on an ice wall.

From QQ:
Jilin Yanji Ice Festival Uses Roosters as Live Targets for Tourists to Shoot

2013 January 14, at the Jilin Province Yanji City Ice Festival, during the traditional Chinese-Korean traditional archery event and in accordance with age-old folk custom, live roosters symbolizing prey were used as targets for tourists to shoot at, causing controversy. Some tourists felt this was a little cruel.


A contestant shooting a rooster.


A shot rooster struggling.


A working staff “hanging a rooster”.

[MightyB]

Awesome!

Reminds me of the old time festival at a nature center I used to go to when I was a kid. They had a couple of historical cabins that they'd use to show pioneer living. The highlight of the event was when they'd hang live chickens by their feet and then decapitate them with very sharp knives for us children to see. The chickens would do their dead dance for about a minute after the decapitation. Sadly, some tourists thought that was cruel too and they no longer do that at the festival.