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Thread: Mayan Apocalypse 12/21/12

  1. #1
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    Mayan Apocalypse 12/21/12

    We have the October 21, 2011: Rapture Redux thread, the 'old dusty' 6-6-6 thread, the Post your favorite post apocalypse movies thread and the zombie thread, but none yet dedicated to this imminent date. What are you doing for the Mayan Apocalypse?

    I've been invited to two parties already. Everyone wants a martial artist who can handle a Monk Spade* in their post-apocalyptic posse. Kung Fu been bery bery good to me.

    Safe Haven from the Mayan Apocalypse? Sorry, We’re Closed
    By Sorcha PollakDec. 05, 20121 Comment

    Do you fear the apocalyptic end to humanity scheduled for Dec. 21? Well, there may be hope: a safe haven from the fast-approaching Armageddon in the form of a small, tranquil village in the south-west of France named Bugarach.

    Unfortunately, it’s now closed.

    For reasons that still aren’t entirely clear, several websites that have been trumpeting the coming end of the world have also named Bugarach the only place on earth that will be saved on Dec. 21st. When the town’s mayor, Jean-Pierre Delord, was alerted to this fact two years ago, his first reaction was not to rejoice in the knowledge that he and his townspeople would be spared the apocalypse but to order special security measures and plans to shut down the village in preparation for a deluge of news agencies, esotericists and Doomsday cultists.

    It has been widely reported in recent years that ancient Mayan calendars predicted that the world would end on Dec. 21st, 2012. According to National Geographic, it is true that the Mayan “long count” calendar, which spans around 5,125 years, will reach the end of its cycle in December of this year. Dec. 21st will see the end of the 13th Bak’tun, which represents the end of an old cycle and the beginning of a new one. And while everyone from NASA to astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson are insisting that this doesn’t mean the end of the world any more than December 31, 1999 meant the end of modern computing, people across the globe are preparing for Armageddon. However, the question as to why the inhabitants of this tiny French village will survive unscathed remains unanswered.

    So why would the inhabitants of this tiny French village be spared? Nicolas D’Estienne d’Orves, who recently released a book on Bugarach titled The Village of the End of the World, explained in a documentary on the life of the villagers that it has been “impossible” to get to the bottom of the Mayan Bugarach rumor. Why this town? Why in Europe? “It was grabbed on to because this is a place where there’s nothing, so you can easily project your fantasies on to it. It’s like filling a balloon with air,” says the French novelist.

    Bugarach is located in the Languedoc-Roussillon region of southern France. This sleepy hamlet of 176 residents has always attracted people with more “esoteric beliefs,” Delord recently told the Guardian. For years this area of southern France has been known for folklore and magic as well as plenty of conspiracy theories. “It’s all about the mountain,” says Delord.

    He’s talking about the 4,300-foot tall Pic de Bugarach, which towers over the village. It is known locally as the ‘upside-down mountain’ due to the lower layers of rocks that are inexplicably younger than those at the top of the peak. The flat-topped mountain is also reported to emit strange gurgling sounds, which has probably helped make it a prime UFO-spotting site as well. Many actually believe the mountain contains an “alien garage,” writes the Telegraph, where extraterrestrials are waiting in a massive cavity beneath the rock for the world to end.

    Delord fears that many of these Doomsday believers are planning to descend upon his small hometown in the coming weeks in an attempt to avoid what they believe is mankind’s imminent demise. Already, the numbers of hikers climbing the mountain have jumped from 10,000 in 2010 to 20,000 in 2011, writes the Guardian. So as to be completely sure of the locals’ safety, the mayor has made the decision to shut down the area to tourists for the four days prior to Dec. 21st. Meanwhile, the French government has put the anti-cult watchdog agency Miviludes on the case so as to head off any apocalyptic group activities or possible mass suicides, such as those which were carried out by the Order of the Solar Temple in the Alps between 1994-97.

    Some of the locals in Bugarach are still happily taking advantage of their new worldwide fame. One local winery has an end-of-the-world vintage on sale, while a local man is renting out his home for up to $1,600 a night. “I possess a rare asset, the land of immortality,” the landowner proudly told the French newspaper Depeche du Midi.
    * Actually, I never learned Monk Spade, but I worked on the DVD and the cover story, so I can fake it. Zombies are pretty easy to fake out that way.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  2. #2
    I put this segment together for a show I work on.

  3. #3
    How did the end of the calendar morph into a date for a zombie apocalypse?


    And about the Mayan calendar. damn, you would think nobody ever head of a cycle. Do the math people, the reason why it stops when it does is freaking OBVIOUS!

  4. #4
    I wonder if I can use the "end of the world" thing to skip work that day...?

  5. #5
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    mayan couldnt predict their own destruction. how can they predict ours?

    Honorary African American
    grandmaster instructor of Wombat Combat The Lost Art of Anal Destruction™®LLC .
    Senior Business Director at TEAM ASSHAMMER consulting services ™®LLC

  6. #6
    I will be doing the same thing I do every night. Trying to take over the world!

  7. #7
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    Doubt the Mayans bawang?

    Here's are four horsemen of the apocalypse:
    Unicorns are real!
    Twinkies are going extinct!
    CMA is winning in the cage!
    Jackie Chan is quitting action films!

    Quote Originally Posted by Syn7 View Post
    How did the end of the calendar morph into a date for a zombie apocalypse?
    Good question! Are there even such creatures as Mayan zombies?
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing View Post
    Good question! Are there even such creatures as Mayan zombies?
    Of course - that's why there's no more Mayans!









    except in Miyami

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by bawang View Post
    mayan couldnt predict their own destruction. how can they predict ours?
    Actually , they did.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lebaufist View Post
    Actually , they did.
    doesnt matter, i believe in jesus christ. his powers will protect me, covering my entire body like a force field.

    Honorary African American
    grandmaster instructor of Wombat Combat The Lost Art of Anal Destruction™®LLC .
    Senior Business Director at TEAM ASSHAMMER consulting services ™®LLC

  11. #11
    I love how everyone I know is so stoked for a zombie apocalypse, when none of them have any of the skills required to survive. I mean, I know it's just a fun fantasy, but stop saying you'll be one of the survivors, when you can't shoot, can't fight, never spent a night in the woods, have no survival skills and haven't even begun stockpiling food and ammo.

    True story, I took a friend of mine up to camp to shoot guns once, he had never done it before...he was actually dumbfounded that he was a bad shot...grown man, in all seriousness, said to me, "I assumed I would be a good shot because I am on video games." Really???!! He's a smart guy too, but people actually assume the mechanics of operating a rifle will be the same as pushing buttons on a controller!

    I shouldn't be surprised though. I can't begin to tell you how many people think they can hang in the ring with a trained fighter, when they've never done full contact sparring.

  12. #12
    speak for yerself. I grew up in northern Michigan where schools consider Nov 15th (1st day of rifle season/deer) a holiday and give the day off.

    Rabbit and squirrel taste the same.

    Turkey's are really stupid until you actually try to hunt one.

    It takes a lot of bullets to bring down a raccoon which an uncle pays a bounty for because they kill chickens.

    And contrary to magazine ads... small knives are better for hunting knives because they're easier to work with to gut a deer.

  13. #13
    that and snare traps don't work as well in real life as they do in cartoons.

  14. #14

    ..........

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by bawang View Post
    doesnt matter, i believe in jesus christ. his powers will protect me, covering my entire body like a force field.
    Preach on my fellow Christian jedi !!
    Psalms 144:1
    Praise be my Lord my Rock,
    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !

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