I don't argue

[Jimbo]

I find even unaccomplished people who talk about themselves distasteful. I almost always suffer a self induced cringe whenever I catch myself doing it. Like right now sort of.

"I've been talking about myself for the last hour, why don't you tell me about myself for a while."

It's fine to discuss things about one's self, regarding experiences, etc. Otherwise, there would be nothing to share on forums. The problems arise when some people try to lift themselves up by disparaging others' accomplishments as compared to their own.

[Syn7]

It depends on the topic. If there is no one right answer, that's one thing. But sometimes people are simply wrong about certain facts, and pointing that out isn't a bad thing or an ego thing. Or at least it doesn't have to be.

[YouKnowWho]

It's fine to discuss things about one's self, regarding experiences, etc. Otherwise, there would be nothing to share on forums.

If you

- don't talk about yourself, people may say that you try to hide behind the keyboard.
- do, people may either treat you as a beginner (if you only have 6 month training) or people may assume you are bragging (if you have over 20 years training).

There is no win-win situation. This is the most difficult part of the online discussion.

[Syn7]

You reading Zeno or something?

If you

- Hold your hands apart at 1 meter and decrease that space by 50% and repeat that process of halving the distance...

Will you

- Ever be able to clap your hands?

[YouKnowWho]

You reading Zeno or something?

If you

- Hold your hands apart at 1 meter and decrease that space by 50% and repeat that process of halving the distance...

Will you

- Ever be able to clap your hands?

You will never be able to clap your hands

[YouKnowWho]

Sometime it's better to say, "I think that you've forgotten this and that..." instead of saying, "You don't know sh!t." or "You are clueless."

The communication skill is very important. If you talk like a 10 years old, people will treat you like a 10 years old.

[Syn7]

It's also important to remember that taking criticism honestly is a far greater accomplishment than simply being courteous. Lots of pitchers, very few catchers. It's the perfect recipe for negativity.

The problem with saying "I think you've forgotten" is that sometimes it's blatantly obvious that that is not the case. Sometimes you should call people out. Putting somebody on the defensive isn't always a bad thing. People who truly want to build their knowledge and who can take criticism will usually appreciate this, especially when assumptions are called to question. That is a net benefit in my book. The ones who don't appreciate it are the ones who are simply pimping a viewpoint they take for granted.

So what happened to you in the judo forum was bullshit because there was no constructive criticism at all. But had they said, "hey, you don't know judo and here is why and what you aren't understanding" then you can come back with a rebuttal and hopefully gain some knowledge, regardless of the tone. Whether it begins as "hey fuckwitt" or "Greetings Mr. Wang". As long as it stays in the realm of constructive, I personally really don't care how I'm treated to a certain point. I'll take some abuse to pick somebody's brain.

[YouKnowWho]

In order to avoid argument, you may have to hide your true intention and can't speak in your own honest words. Sometime I don't know that will be a good thing to do. If you can't speak freely (try not to offend anybody), will you still have good time in online discussion?

If you receive social security check, and if you say that you prefer smaller government in order to please those tea party members, it won't be good IMO.

[Syn7]

Your premise is based on the assumption that argument = bad, and that simply isn't always the case. Know what I mean? That's what I was referring to in the last post.

IMO, in order to have the most productive conversation, both sides have to be able to think critically and give and take criticism in proportion.

Personally, I can't stand those elephant in the room, walking on egg shell, lolly gagging conversations. That's freakin' torture to someone like me.

That's why I love text messages. I don't feel the need to say "hi, how are you...."
I can just say what I need to say and be done with it.

That isn't to say I don't like casual nothing conversations, they just can't be about meaningful things. I can bullshit with the best of em, but there's a time and place.


I understand your analogy about the social security thing, and I agree with the sentiment, but it's a pretty biased argument. There are a ton of variables when it comes to making government more efficient w/o gutting social security, or any "entitlement" programs at all.

[YouKnowWho]

What will you do if someone asks for an online challenge (or asks you to fight his teacher)?

If you

- accept, people may say that you have macho attitude.
- decline, people may say that you are coward.

It's a lose-loss situation either way.

When people asks you to put up a full contact fight clip, if in that clip, you

- beat up someone, people may say that your opponent is weak.
- got beaten up by someone, people may say that your are weak.

It's also a lose-lose situation either way.

[Syn7]

What will you do if someone asks for an online challenge (or asks you to fight his teacher)?

If you

- accept, people may say that you have macho attitude.
- decline, people may say that you are coward.

It's a lose-loss situation either way.

When people asks you to put up a full contact fight clip, if in that clip, you

- beat up someone, people may say that your opponent is weak.
- got beaten up by someone, people may say that your are weak.

It's also a lose-lose situation either way.

Only if you care what they think. Why let people who would do that get under your skin? Do you really care if some guy online thinks your a coward? Or somebody you see everyday even?

[YouKnowWho]

Only if you care what they think. Why let people who would do that get under your skin? Do you really care if some guy online thinks your a coward? Or somebody you see everyday even?

That's a very good point. Those who needs to prove himself usually doesn't have much confidence in himself.

Yesterday when I walked on the Pismo Beach with my dog, I met a 220 lb guy who did some solo kicks and punches on the beach. I walked toward him and introduced myself. I found out that he is a Kempo, Hipkido guy, and wrestler. We will start to meet on Monday to do some partner drills first. After we have known each other better and build some mutual trust, we will start some wrestling. Later on we will move into sparring.

After I have moved to California for 5 years, I finally find a training/wrestling/sparring partner. I intend to keep him as long as I can.

[Lucas]

congrats, i know you have been looking for a training partner for a long time, i hope that guy works out

[YouKnowWho]

congrats, i know you have been looking for a training partner for a long time, i hope that guy works out

I hope so too. I love to work out with big guys. That extra body weight is always a challenge.

[Syn7]

That's a very good point. Those who needs to prove himself usually doesn't have much confidence in himself.

Yesterday when I walked on the Pismo Beach with my dog, I met a 220 lb guy who did some solo kicks and punches on the beach. I walked toward him and introduced myself. I found out that he is a Kempo, Hipkido guy, and wrestler. We will start to meet on Monday to do some partner drills first. After we have known each other better and build some mutual trust, we will start some wrestling. Later on we will move into sparring.

After I have moved to California for 5 years, I finally find a training/wrestling/sparring partner. I intend to keep him as long as I can.

Man... you have absolutely nothing to prove to anyone. Anybody with any sense can see that you know what you're talking about, whether they agree with everything you say or not. Respect where respect is due, know what I mean. People who don't understand that aren't really worth the time anyways. That's a personal journey they need to make on their own.


That's sweet about the partner. Good luck with that. I know how that can be. I'm in a new place for awhile and when I got here I didn't really know anyone, so it was hard to find people to roll with. I found one wrestler so far. He's pretty good and outweighs me by like 30 pounds, so that's cool. But all he does is wrestling. Better than nothing.

But to my surprise, I met 4 b-boys in one day and now I have somebody to jam with too. Three of them are about ten years younger than I am, so it's cool to be around people who are still hungry. It motivates me a lot. It's a good fit. I bring experience and knowledge, they bring a ton of energy and enthusiasm. It woke me up a bit and now I can feel myself getting back into the shape I was in when I was back home. It's crazy how fast it can slip away from you. I had to be careful at first. Too much time with my face in the books. Nice to get that balance back.