Serious Problem

[rubthebuddha]

halfling - just keep talking. you've spoken nuttin but gems so far.

johnny - as far as the student, i recommend jus encouraging her training -- a lot. just tell her that your proud of all the work that she's put in and all the extra effort is really paying off. tell her that you appreciate all that she does and you can't wait to see her progress further.

and keep telling her things that emphasize the student/teacher relationship (the NORMAL one, not the student/teacher relationship stuff seen in ginger fist's movie collection).

use your praise to both congratulate her as well as draw the line between the two of you.

sorry you're in this position. i hope it turns out for the best.

[MonkeySlap Too]

If your cell phone is on your card, let her know that it is expensive to receive calls on it and should only call when it relates to class - like missing a class.

Set boundries without being obvious that you are on to her feelings. Try to avoid embarrassing her as well as making her feel slighted.

It's tricky, but it can be done.

It's all about setting up the rules.

Funny thing - when I was studying hit medicine I got myself in the study group with some older nurses- they were at about my speed as far as ability to pick stuff up, so I wanted to work with them. Well one of them - one that was MUCH older than me, misinterpreted my generally friendly nature and developed a severe crush on me. I made it clear that I was otherwise engaged - indirectly, but she became spiteful nontheless. You really can't judge how someone will respond, especially when they are developing fantasies in thier own head.

So be very, very careful. And be thankful that it's not a mean spirited elderly nurse!

[halfling]

Wow, I hope you were being serious rtb, that was really nice of you. That is the first time anyone has said anything nice to me on here. I thank you for that.


(I'm sure this will be followed my many derogatory comments if i can trust the nature of the people who usually post here. )

[xiong]

I'll chip in my two cents if for no other reason than to get some post numbers back.

Most of the advice you've have gotten has been pretty decent, especially the stuff about encouraging her training while setting up a boundary which is the student teacher relationship.

Personally I would assess how I felt and go from there. If I felt uncomfortable about being alone with her I would get another student into those sessions immediately. If I felt too weird about going to her recital (didn't want to encourage her) I'd tell her I couldn't go. If I did go I might make a bee line for her parents. If you don't already know them it's a good opportunity. Are they people who are going to just assume you are a pedophile?

Basically you can't ignore it but you can address it by keeping your relationship friendly but formal. Getting to know the parents better so that they know what kind of person you are might help as well. I would not take the tack of "I know you like me and it can never work". That most likely will lead to a spiteful reaction on her part.

Hope this helps and has not been too redundant.

[rubthebuddha]

halfling: you ********!

there, got it out. i feel better now.

anyhoo, i'm just calling 'em how i seem 'em. your advice was genuine and will do wonders to help keep him out of more trouble (not to imply it's his fault).

as far as calling you a ********? i didn't mean it. i'm just no better than anyone else around here, that's all.

[halfling]

rub - i dunno what ******** means but i will just assume that all those stars mean you think i am a star in the sky dont worry i dont take anything personally esp from people who dont even know me. and i never said you were a good person or better than anyone else on the forum. just that you said something nice .... just kidding again.

[rubthebuddha]

well, we'll always have paris, i guess.

[Xebsball]

"Mr. Package" ????

Dude, you're a dude, no more doubts about that.


BTW, i'm downloading Gerardo's Rico Suave song, how do you think that will afect my kung fu training?

[Nexus]

An old but funny thread worth re-reading.