And there were in the dojos grapplers tapping each other out, keeping watch over their erections.

And, lo, the Budokan came upon them and the glory of Funakoshi shown around him and the grapplers were sore afraid.

And the Budokan said unto them, Fear not: for, Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all Martial Artists.

For unto you is born this day in the ghettos of Baltimore, a Troll, which is Rolls the Troll.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find him wrapped in a Nascar gi, lying on the couch, beating off to UFC #2 videotape whilst clutching a bottle of hand lotion.

And suddenly there was with Budokan a multitude of Kung Fu and Karate players praising Rolls and saying,

Glory to all Martial Artists in the highest, and in our kwoons and dojos, peace, and good will toward all men. Even grapplers.