"How do we train in internal martial arts but maintain that warrior drive. That warrior never quite attitude… One more rep… One more hour… without calling on that I will “kick butt” attitude? As I said, the I will “kick butt” attitude has served my well, but constantly on full speed will wear you out. Internal Warrior?"
Have you ever considered how much energy was wasted? Efficient use of energy and the ability to escalate is a big part of tai chi, in my mind. Tai chi is also very reactionary in that your opponent determines your move...the "I will dominate" attitude is too aggressive. You join with your opponent while staying in control (of now both of you). Often I am surprise and how little tai chi moves to get the job done. Tai chi is more of the middle road...not too aggressive and not too passive...so that way you have the full range of motion available.
"Also for me, at my beginning level, the killer instinct drive is not appropriate. Shifu’s focus is on building a foundation, sung and internal awareness of energies, not a lot of obvious martial intent. It is this that probable presents as a contradiction to my “kick butt” drive and will be resolved as the foundation is built and more obvious martial skills are added."
You have to learn how to move first...sung, full body connections, etc, etc. That is why many don't like the internal arts...they are impatient and want to "kick butt" right away. Once you learn how to move, learn to reformat intention and focus, and generate internal power then you can start using it in martial applications. You can start using it in everyday life far more readily however.
What may keep you going is finding how much more power you can generate as you start getting it...and how much less effort it takes. I seems the more correct I do things, the less it feels like I am doing anything. If it feels like you are working hard, you are probably not doing it right. It is counter-intuitive that way. If you like to feel like your are working hard and insist of feeling like you are working hard, you may not have the temperment and mental attitude to do internal martial arts.
~ Eric Putkonen
(Teaching Tai Chi Chuan in Plymouth, Minnesota)