Enter the idiots

[anton]

Originally posted by Jook Lum
he once kicked a guy in the stomach and the guys chi flew out of his nose and he died.

ROFL!!!!!

Can I use that in my sig?

[Jook Lum]

Go ahead,but he might hunt you down and kick the chi out of your nose and kill you too.Beware!

[jimbob]

I haven't posted here in ages but this thread has dragged me out of hibernation.

I had a guy come to one of my classes about 11 years ago who had spent the previous decade in monastic isolation in Singapore. "Cool" I think - my place of birth. I asked him where he'd been but his geography suddenly became hazy - he said he was in the hills behind "Gang-jo". Ookay. Guangzhou it is. Nice part of Singapore, Guangzhou!

He couldn't/didn't speak any Chinese because the monks who taught him didnt' speak at all. Ten years in silence. Oookayyy....

He then pulled out a karate gi and put it on. I was slightly puzzled but still wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt - I have some CMA friends in both Taiwan and the Philippines who wear Japanese style clothes. He then proceeds to show me the basic Pinan/Heian katas of Shotokan (badly)- and told me these were secret leopard style forms.

Then he tried to charge me money for "allowing" me to witness said rarities.

He left when I put my mouthguard in and asked him to show me some more.

I also met one guy many many years ago who felt the taichi we were practising had opened his third eye. He was always stopping mid practice to communicate with the dead masters, before correcting everyone else.

God, what a trip down memory lane! I should hang out more regularly!

[joedoe]

That is hilarious.

All I can contribute is this old gem:

http://forum.kungfumagazine.com/foru...5&pagenumber=1

We've had others like Gokky, but he kinda takes the cake. Had one woman telling us what we were doing wrong and tried to flog us some 'chi' in a bottle. Very wierd.

[shaolin kungfu]

HAHA! That guy is funny as hell!

Why doesn't goktimus come back and play with us? We could sure use some good ol' fashion humor around here.

[Merryprankster]

Oh yeah....

I met a fellow who asked what we did upstairs at Lloyd's, so I told him. He then asked if I'd ever heard of the style he had studied in Las Vegas called "Something made up." He said he had learned it as a bartender in a casino. One day he had gotten into a fight with a big guy who was harrassing a customer and laid him out. So a little chinese janitor took him out back to say "You think you a tough guy? Hit me hard as you can." So he hit the little chinese man, who was, of course, about 60 and didn't budge him a bit. The little chinese man laughed and hit this guy (who was a pimply fat mess) and sent him flying 10 feet into the air and back into the garbage can. He was then accepted as a disciple and earned his BLACK BELT a couple of years later. I kept a straight face somehow when he told me he was interested in doing BJJ for fun but that since he had learned to sequence pressure point attacks and knock people out just barely brushing them with his fingers he really didn't see any true value in it....

There is another, much better story of this fellow who came in from New Jersey to spar with one of our fighters.... but I'm lazy and don't feel like typing it.

[chen zhen]

I found Goktimus prime's website once!
There was pics of him on it. I'll post it here when I find it again.

[shaolin kungfu]

I think i found his website to.

Edit: Posting the picture of him at mcdonalds didnt work so here's the websitehttp://www.geocities.com/goktimus/

[chen zhen]

hehe, Gokky & his little nerd friends

[shaolin kungfu]

the link didn't work for me. For some reason it isn't working to post just the pictures.

[Evad]

I met this dude once that said he knew a style of karate so dangerous the authorities wouldn't let him practice anymore. The reason being that he had this special super secret technique of defending yourself from an attack by a 2X4 board. He says you block the attack from the 2X4 in just such a way that a 'splinter' of the board will break away and fly into the attacker's eye! This same dumba s s also described to me a bar fight he was in where he broke both his opponents arms, a leg, six ribs (one of which pierced a lung) and side kicked him 15 feet across the floor and through, yes through a cinder block wall!

I asked the guy if his opponent left an outline of his body in the wall, you know like in a cartoon when a character flies through a wall and leaves a cookie cutter shape?

He said, "yea, it's funny but he did, yea." I got the impression that he was serious when he followed up with, "well not a 'true' outline, his body wasn't that 'solid' especially after what I'd already done to him, but he did leave a nice hole in the wall."

The nice thing is that this happened away from our school, I met him at a business meeting and some common associates started talking about what they did to keep fit, and someone mentioned martial arts. Needless to say we all just silently decided to have no dealings with this complete and total knuckle dragger.

[SaMantis]

ROTFLMAO Great thread!

Evad, I think I knew that guy in college ... or someone who kept bragging about bar fights that sounded suspiciously like they came out of Roadhouse .

[MasterKiller]

SK,
Just delete the "http://" part of the geocities address, and it should work.

[uki]

one day, many years ago, i walked into a class... and now here i am.

actually i don't know who you would consider flakier, my old teacher or myself.

[David Jamieson]

one day, many years ago, i walked into a class... and now here i am.

actually i don't know who you would consider flakier, my old teacher or myself.

you win for resurrecting a 6 year old thread.