i have to agree with bob regarding westerners and training. most (not all, just most) of us don't have the time to train 8, 10, 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, myself included! we have to work, feed the kids, feed ourselves, socialize, train, sleep, meditate, etc. so therefore, we probably won't get as deep into our taiji as we would like to. of course, there are those who will be lucky enough to get the "superpowers" by doing half assed training once every other week, but they are few and far between. the majority of us, including my teacher, have to work, work, work at it.
now, as far as advocating the use of hardness:
my teacher has always told us that you should be soft when you need to be soft, hard when you need to be hard. if attacked, i would want to make sure that i deal with the attack as quickly as i could, and make sure that the attacker either doesn't want to continue, or is physically unable to continue. sometimes you can be soft to accomplish this, sometimes you must be hard. another important concept is that soft does not have to mean limp, or lax, or without any energy.
when i am playing push hands, or playing forms, i try to make sure that my yin parts still have intention, that they are not just sitting there (if that makes any sense).
i am sure that one does not accomplish the feat of throwing one's opponents 10 feet away by being "slack". there has to be some hardness there. i think these skills come from a very highly developed sense of sticking, listening, following, timing, etc.
Originally Posted by Lee Chiang Po
You then walk backwards, forcing him off his feet and then drag him by the eye socket and lips. You can pull so hard that the lips tear away. You will never hear such screaming.