Ahh...you know how it is. Even if I slap him, they talk and they talk but they never put out.

Omg, I just re-read that.... You are looking for someone to "put out"? Not that kinda guy... sorry. I am sure Xi'an has a district for that though. Now if you mean, to throw-down, thats another story. Of course, the logistics is a little difficult since you are over there. However if wandering bums ever come to Texas....