BAH!!! Rant mode on!!!!

[SevenStar]

Has he competed yet? If so, how does he handle losses with such a fragile ego?

[Merryprankster]

7*,

I don't think he has. I think he has this idea of being an MMA fighter, but the reality is that I don't see the heart for that. I think it can be developed, but not on his current pathway.

[yenhoi]

I like the straight forward approach. Tell him how it is.

None of this nonsense about drving away your students/training partners.

You could also bring in someone who is your superior and get your ass handed to you a bit. Thats always a good demo to have on hand. Same guy could probably give your pal or the whole group a little verbal push.

[IronFist]

Dam.n, I wish I still had a submission school to train at.

[g0pher]

There is student at my school who is the same way. He's taken 4 martial arts and has quit them all and believes he can hold his own against a lot of the guys who have been training for over 10 years at the school. It drives me nuts because he won't listen and makes himself feel like a big man by beating up on new students during sparring. Although he has quit his other 4 arts, he does have the advantage over a new student who has never taken a martial art before because he has grasped some aspect of striking and throwing... Man I just feel like putting my hand through his face writing this.

And the worst is he disrespects other students by stretching in front of them while they are eating or putting his feet directly in front of their face.

[lada]

Oh, you have one of those students that know better than you even though he's turned to you for training.

Seems like you've been cool and tried to show him the way. That's the most you can do. Now just keep your mouth shut and take his tuition and he'll see.

Three months from now everyone will progress and he'll be the same. He'll either wake up, remain hard headed or leave.

This is an ugly post in my opinion. Take his money and keep your mouth shut? If that is really how you feel, you should be up front and honest and set the guy down and ask him to leave. You are dishonestly taking money from him when you have no intention of teaching him.

I don't agree with the "3 months from now he will wake up". People are not stupid nor are they deaf and blind. In reading the original message, it is clear that the writer is angry. Do you think this guy in class is stupid? He can feel and hear the anger and derision in the instructors voice. I would guess he acts obstinate because he feels like he has been disrespected.

There are all kinds of people so it is hard to say. Did you watch Ultimate Fighter on Spike TV? If you are dealing with people like that, hard people who won't listen and might be dangerous, then you have to be hard with them. But if you are dealing with regular people who are learning for fun or for health or whatever, you won't get very far being hard, dismissive, curt, angry, disrespectful etc to them.

Let's say you are a student in a class and you want to learn. Then the instructor comes over and tells you in an angry tone of voice that you are a problem. What do you do? You want to be in the class, you don't want to leave. You want to do what the instructor asks you. But like all men, young and old, you don't want to be pushed around, ordered, made to feel like a slave, embarrassed or shamed.

People are different. There is like an animal inside of you. People whom this animal has not developed very much are easy to deal with. When you tell them to do something, they do it because they don't know any better. Realisticly, they are slaves to your or anyone elses orders. Then you got the people in who this animal is well developed.

These type of people will instinctively resist any type of control. Verbal or Physical. It is their very nature that if you try to make them do something, they will resist. I don't think they can control it. I know if I get that way I will not listen to reason. All I see is someone trying to control me and I will resist any way possible. It is an instinctive animal thing.

The original poster would need to look at this guy and decide. Is he resisting because he thinks I was rude to him and this is the only way he can get even? Is he resisting because he wants to quit class, he just doesn't realize it yet? Is he resisting because he is one of these animal type people and it is very very hard for him to cooperate? Is he resisting because he is a jerk and wants to cause trouble for everyone in the class? Does he even know he is resisiting? People can blind themselves to their own behavior. He may think he is being cooperative.

This is where kung fu and learning to fight seperate. If people are learning to fight, the advice goes one way. If you are learning kung fu as a way of life and to make yourself a better person, then you would need different advice. Fighters are hard and tough and would never talk to a person to find out their problems or try to fix them in an understanding and soft way. A kung fu person understands that until a persons mental problems and situation are sorted out, they will never be a powerful kung fu man. No matter how much they practice, half of their energy is stuck in their head, tied up in those mental problems.

[SevenStar]

This is where kung fu and learning to fight seperate. If people are learning to fight, the advice goes one way. If you are learning kung fu as a way of life and to make yourself a better person, then you would need different advice. Fighters are hard and tough and would never talk to a person to find out their problems or try to fix them in an understanding and soft way. A kung fu person understands that until a persons mental problems and situation are sorted out, they will never be a powerful kung fu man. No matter how much they practice, half of their energy is stuck in their head, tied up in those mental problems.

I agree with everything you said except for this. kung fu and "learning to fight" are NOT different in this respect. If you are not mentally into what you are doing, you will not do it well. A fighter with no heart will never be much of a fighter.

[No_Know]

Reading it occured to me that you beat him with less options but if he's trying his hardest he is processing and doesn't register input. If you can meet him with resistance and absorb his attemts or hinder instead of complete cut-off the speed difference messes-up his metered comprehension and breaks his focus--it takes longer than it should so he steps out of the attempt and conciously looks at what's wrong (while still trying to fix it). You have the presence of mind to read him and the experiences/abilities to match and cover him. He'll probabally start talking during and ask you what you are doing. Or he will break and complain in some way.

You've met me and gone a round with me. So whatever you thought of that. Plus that I go by the ID No_Know. My presume above occured to me when reading this post. Hopefully it matters.

I No_Know

[rogue]

Work with the people who are there to learn. It's not fair to them if someone is taking up more class time for no good reason.

[SevenStar]

Dam.n, I wish I still had a submission school to train at.

How far are you from one?