Survivor: James blindsided
Article By: Claudia Ferreira - TVSA
Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:27
What an episode! That was definitely a classic Survivor blindside if there ever was one. In one way, I’m sorry to see James go. He was… expressive, to say the least, and I’ll miss the trash-talking and reaction shots.
On the other hand, there is nothing more satisfying than seeing an overly arrogant player get their ass served to them when they least expect it, and lord knows James has been really piling on the ****iness lately. Actually, I’m lying. There’s one thing more satisfying then that, and that’s seeing someone with not one but two immunity idols getting voted out.
The fact that I was really turned off by his whiny baby attitude during the whole Peih-Gee incident from a couple of weeks ago made me appreciate the whole incident a little more. What can I say – I’m fickle. Unfortunately for James, so are his fellow Survivor contestants.
Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Much more disappointing was the resolution of the Tribal Council cliffhanger. Instead of something cool like a surprise vote or a violent death-match, it turned out to be a measly Reward Challenge. Colour me unimpressed.
The reward itself was pretty cool but not enough to make up for two weeks’ worth of built-up disappointment. It was a trip to a genuine Shaolin monastery, home of badass kung-fu masters and tasty vegetarian cooking. PG won this once-in-a-lifetime trip and picked Erik and Denise to go with her.
This left Todd, James, Amanda, and Courtney to head back to camp and talk about how nice it would be to be the final four. James mentioned an absurd number of times how easy it would be to frolic to the finals. I never thought James would be much of a frolicker. Makes me picture him as Bambi gamboling through a field of daisies towards a giant million-dollar cheque.
There was one small quirk: the fact that Amanda saw this final four as less of an ideal situation and more of a hellish worst case scenario to be avoided at all costs. Can you blame her? James the tank would flatten whoever he was up against in the final two, Napoleon Twinkaparte is about as trustworthy as he is tall, and Courtney is… I’m actually not sure why Courtney would be a bad person to have in the final four. She’s exactly the kind of player who’d get a jury frothing at the mouth about perceived coattail-riding and un-deservedness.
PG was up to a few things of her own. She’d picked Denise with the hope of trying to lure her to Team John Woo. Denise listened politely but didn’t exactly jump at the opportunity. Poor Denise’s mullet is obviously inhibiting her memory since she keeps forgetting the times her so-called alliance has left her out of decisions.
Strategies were set aside once the three of them arrived at the Shaolin temple where they got to watch monks pulling off moves that would make Jackie Chan blush. Denise decided to show off a few moves of her own. Turns out she’s one roundhouse kick to the face away from being a black belt in karate. I have a sudden desire to watch a movie about a mulleted lunch-lady karate expert who fights crime in her spare time. Someone get Jerry Bruckheimer on the phone right now.
Smart cookies
When the three of them returned back to camp, they found the rest of the castaways huddled in a cave hiding away from the rain. PG entered the cave to talk about her time with the kung-fu masters, which secretly ****ed Courtney off. “My cave, my preciouuuussss,” she hissed, fury shining in her half-mad eyes. I know they’re possessive of their real estate in New York, but this is a little much.
James too was not pleased with PG violating the sanctity of the cave by talking about her Shaolin field trip. When PG dared mention the word “cookies”, James’s eyes bugged out like some overly muscled version of the Cookie Monster. Hush, PG! Don’t you know that baked goods, like politics and religion, should never be discussed in polite company?