View Full Version : JKD Aerobics?,...give me a break!

07-31-2001, 10:19 PM
I was driving down the highway near my home in central North Carolina over this past weekend when I noticed a billboard with some guys in martial arts type poses on it. Underneath the name of the gym, in big bold letters was the heading "Move over Tae Bo, Cardio-Jeet Kune Do is here".

I about ran off the road. I didn't get to read it all on my first pass, so I went back and came by it again. The ad invited people to come and try this new health club sensation and learn one of the world's most lethal self-defense arts in the process.

I laughed all the way home. :D

07-31-2001, 10:52 PM
That is hilarious. Of course, JKD concepts people might say it is an extension of JKD concepts. Well, they might not be able to defend themselves, but they'll be in shape when they get whooped, haha.

"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"-Arnold Schwarzenegger

08-01-2001, 09:07 AM
As we all know, Bruce Lee's fight with Wong Jack Man caused him to analyze the weaknesses in his training and martial path. One major problem was the fact that the fight lasted no more than several minutes, but left Bruce exhausted. From this, Bruce realized that his conditioning exercises were sorely lacking. He knew that in order to be the best fighter he could be, he would have to create a revolutionary form of aerobic training that would build great cardiovascular strength and endurance while embodying the essence and philosophy of Jeet Kune Do. Such a new dynamic method of training would ensure that future battles would not leave him winded after several minutes, as his beatdown of Sifu Wong Jack Man did. Thus, Cardio JKD was born. This formidable chi enhancing training gave Bruce a secret advantage in fighting ability that he shared only with two closed door disciples. At the time when Cardio JKD was finally perfected, Dan Inosanto was beginning to show signs of surpassing Bruce Lee, which left Bruce feeling somewhat insecure about the stability of his position as the indisputed patriarch of JKD. So in an effort to keep Dan Inosanto one step behind him, Bruce kept the secrets of Cardio JKD which he discovered and synthesized unknown to his protege. On his deathbed, Bruce used the last bits of his fading chi to awaken from his coma just long enough to command his two loyal closed door disciples not to publicly reveal the secrets of Cardio JKD, and especially not to Dan Inosanto. He commanded that the section of his personal notes (which were later published as "Tao of JKD") detailing the secrets of Cardio JKD be burned to ashes, so that this secret art remain only in his two faithful students. Bruce foresaw that once he passed, Dan Inosanto would command the most loyalty amongst the JKD clan. He feared that Guro Inosanto would *******ize the true art of JKD by encouraging the disciples of JKD to learn other styles of fighting that would contradict the pure perfected ways of Jeet Kune Do. And so he decreed that the final secret of JKD, Cardio JKD, be kept a secret from Inosanto. So the two loyal closed door disciples remained anonymous, practicing and teaching the highest levels of JKD privately. But then one of these masters was deceived by a man whom he thought to be a loyal student. When he finally saw that this student's plan was to publicly reveal Cardio JKD for petty financial gain, he banished him from the secret kwoon and withheld the last hidden forms of Cardio JKD before the ambitious traitor could reach full instructorship status. But this deceitful villain was clever...he took his limited knowledge of the secrets of Cardio JKD and mixed in foriegn elements in a half hearted attempt to fill the gaps in his knowledge. He called this false art, which was based on half learnt Cardio JKD, his own creation. That man's name is Billy Blanks, and the art he "invented" was dubbed Tae Bo!! Blanks launched the biggest public marketing project in MA history and as a result, has taught millions of people worldwide incorrect and *******ized Cardio JKD. In an effort to save the last true remnant of Bruce Lee's unsurpassed art, the two original closed door disciples have no choice now, but to finally reveal true Cardio JKD publicly! How DARE you criticize them for their efforts!! To all the true loyal JKD practitioners who are listening: brothers, it has come time to do Bruce's memory the greatest honor! Help to spread the knowledge of TRUE Cardio JKD and help to stomp out the insidious evil that is Tae Bo and the fraudulent sifu that is Billy Blanks!

"The fact that I beat Royce Gracie...I beat him in five minutes! It took Sakuraba an hour and a half to beat him but I beat him in five minutes. I have proof of this. I have pictures. If you give me your business card I will bring you all of the evidence from Brazil."
-Wallid Ismail

08-01-2001, 06:22 PM
That is hilariously funny. Unfortunately, you may have just given someone an idea.

Keep your eyes open for Cardio-JKD schools to be popping up all over the U.S. :D

08-02-2001, 07:29 PM

Cardio JKD...*calls up VCs, registers url*

08-02-2001, 10:15 PM
But can you define what Cardio-JKD is? Could I use Jazzercise methods and still be C-JKD?

Rogue, you're an @ss!! Watchman

Adventure is just a romantic name for trouble. It sounds swell when you write about it, but it's hell when you meet it face to face in a dark and lonely place.
Louis L'Amour

BTW, did I mention that Rogue was an @ss? Watchman