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Thread: Zombies!

  1. #1
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    Best Kung Fu Against Flesh Eating Zombies

    One thing my son and I like to do when we are out looking a guns is that we equate the real value of that gun with how well it would serve out needs in the event that zombies were to attack our small town in Kansas.

    My son has only vague memories of my Kung Fu days, and I don't think he really knows how efficient I am (was) with a sword and staff.

    If guns weren't an option. How effective would your Kung Fu be? What weapons do you train with that would be effective? Do you have any weapons that you can use (some folks can only afford training quality merchandise and not the real combat grade equipment)? What alternative items would you use in lieu of a Kung Fu weapon (i.e. no sword? how about a hockey stick?).

    Keep in mind, I am referring to both the fast and the furious zombies (as seen in Dawn of the Dead, the remake) and the slow ones (original George Romero).

    Grapplers need not respond.

    Bob
    From One Thing, Know Ten Thousand.

  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    um...i'd kick him in the nards like that fat kid did in that 80's movie "The Monster Squad"

    "kick him in the nards, kick him in the nards!!"

    "Wolfman doesn't have nards!?!"

  4. #4

    Everything You Need to Know...


  5. #5
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    Shaun of the dead style. Cricket bat to head.
    Broadsword stuff works good at teaching short weapon fighting, and is fairly easily transferable to a bat or stuff like that.
    Although, if I had a real Guandao.........

  6. #6
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    guns and zombies,you must post on ar15.com board as well.

    in answer to your question, i would probably work wit a monk spade for the distance and decapitation aspect. broadsword as a back up.
    Master of Shaolin I-Ching Bu Ti, GunGoPow and I Hung Wei Lo styles.

    I am seeking sparring partner. Any level. Looking for blondes or redhead. 5'2" to 5'9". Between 115-135 weight class. Females between 17-30 only need apply. Will extensively work on grappling.

  7. #7

    Examples from the guide:

    Book Description
    The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.

    Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

    1. Organize before they rise!
    2. They feel no fear, why should you?
    3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
    4. Blades donít need reloading.

    5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
    6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
    7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
    8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
    9. No place is safe, only safer.
    10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

  8. #8
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    Personally, ill stick to a nice long saber. I enjoy my katana for the leverage.

    In addition some nice body armor, maybe some self made platic plate armor sewn on to kevlar would be good. lightweight and bite/claw resistant.

    edit: also, having access to fire is handy. home made napalm is handy
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  9. #9
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    I'd just sick Democrat politicians on them, while they get busy surrendering and appeasing, the zombies will be too full from eating their multi-millionaire fat-a$$es, and I can just saunter away...
    Last edited by Mas Judt; 11-30-2007 at 01:39 PM. Reason: typo
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by diego View Post
    um...i'd kick him in the nards like that fat kid did in that 80's movie "The Monster Squad"

    "kick him in the nards, kick him in the nards!!"

    "Wolfman doesn't have nards!?!"
    "Wolfman does have nards!"
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  11. #11
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    ahh the good old topic of a zombie apocalypse (zombiegeddon). i have decided that the weapon of choice would be either the horse cutter or the gwan dao. i would be in favor of the horse cutter because it is a little lighter and easier to maneuver. the trick is to keep distance, and attempt to remove/ split the head. or possibly remove a leg or two. slow zombie, fast zombie, either way its not running without legs. staff is also a good choice bc of the range but it is a bit slower and ony has one purpose to crack heads. when backed into a tight spot the horse cutter would fair better.

    #1 choice of non weapon is a shovel. it has a blunt side, and a sharp(ish) side and has a little bit of reach. good all around zombie killing tool.
    #1 choice of real weapon is a shot gun. its draw back is limited capacity to hold shells its benefit is its stopping power.

    as far as kicking and or punching the undead i wouldnt put much stock in it. i mean if they are that close on you theres a good chance you are screwed.

    my suggestion fortify a walmart and hide out. lots of potable water, and food, if they sell generators you could even find means to keep your self entertained (video games, music, etc.) they have those plexiglass doors and once you disble the sensors (which is a must) they should stay pretty secure. and as far as i can tell they build those stores to be a large concrete cube. that means it might with stand the napalm the military will need to use to kill the zombie menace.

    thats my $.02

    i think i have given this a little too much consideration.

  12. #12
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    I have read the Zombie Survival Guide - useful stuff to know becuase, if it were to happen, you just want to be prepared.

    Other than sticks and swords - how about a good pair of steel toe shoes? I work in a warehouse and have some good, heavy - but not too heavy, steel toe boots!
    From One Thing, Know Ten Thousand.

  13. #13

    you know

    I'm a fan of a good long handled mallet, or a light weight sledge hammer. The reason is pure stopping power. Yeah- you have to be stronger to use it, and maybe it's a little slower, but you don't have to worry about the blade breaking or getting stuck.

    Besides, unless you have a clean neck or leg strike, the sword is useless. You can't stab with it, and if it doesn't sever the intended limb, you're screwed.

    A big hammer weapen will knock a zombie on it's arse if you hit it center mass, and it will shatter a skull to destroy the brain (which is imperitive if you're fighting zombies). See- you can't knock a zombie out- so staff's are too light, you need that hard hitting blunt force trauma of a hammer.

    -The B

  14. #14
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    I read the ZSG and it says that machetes are good bc they are simple, good choppers that require little skill but is durable. Katanas are supposed to be good bc of sheer chopping power and, for whatever reason, the shaolin spade is supposed to be uber effective. Sorry if this was already posted, i saw zombies and got excited
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  15. #15
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    The ZSG did recommend monk spades

    We have monk spades - light ones for those fast moving zombies and heavyweights for the slower ones. Better stock up now so you're prepared for the holocaust.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
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