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Thread: Groundfighting, fine, but shortsighted...

  1. #1

    Groundfighting, fine, but shortsighted...

    During a recent seminar at the commune, I invited a local Brazilian Jiujitsu sensei to give us a rundown on some sweet moves, mostly because my students wanted to see if BJJ was street effective.

    They were surprised to learn that I thought those moves were actually pretty sweet. The BJJ sensei told me that he was willing to teach me the moves of his katas so we could supplement our regimen with BJJ groundfighting techniques. I politely declined.

    The reason I gave him is the reason I'm going to give to you all, free of charge.

    See, Groundfighting is shortsighted. It's a guarantee that most fights with ordinary mortal men will eventually go to the ground--that's true. And therefore, a healthy dose of slick moves on the ground are a good thing to have in your pocket---but that's not all you want to have in your pocket. After all, even if most fights against ordinary mortal men eventually go to the ground, what happens if you're not fighting an ordinary mortal man---say, if you're fighting the illicit hellspawn of Satan on the Day of Doom?

    When the Zombie Apocalypse is, yea, fully upon us, I do not think a triangle choke will be enough to behead the wicked Legion of Beelzebub and send their blackened souls to that dreadful Gehenna from whence they have come. A katana is the only tool for the job. And even if you got a zombie into a triangle choke, you're just setting him up to unman you by chomping off your progentive unmentionables and conscripting you into the hateful service of Satan in a single bite. And an armbar? Might as well just ask him to rip out your femural artery and hamstring you---you're giving him a shmorgiscyborg (Sp?) without giving him a fight.

    Besides, I wouldn't want to be on the ground when 30 zombies are there, ready to rip your head off and eat your brains. That would just be stupid. Instead, just spinning hook kick him in the temple or shove your samurai dagger in his eye socket. If you're fighting him on the ground, you'd already be halfway to hell before the legions of zombies in the fresh earth took hold of your limbs and drag you into Hell.

    Groundfighting? eh, okay, but shortsighted.
    1bad65--They Call Him Ore Ida, the Tater-Terminator
    http://www.freewebs.com/shaolinninjitsu/
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega-Foot View Post
    We had to shut down our first Shaolin Ninjitsu in Shangdong when a key mistranslation of ancient scrolls led to the entire clan bowing down to incense and burning buddhas everywhere in the province.
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    Trolling? What does fishing have to do with this?
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    Ashida Kim taught me everything I ever needed to know about the missile dropkick.

  2. #2
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    I was just thinking that. I was also thinking how you have the same avatar as another poster here.
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  3. #3
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    its refreshing to see someone with a sense of humour here

    I am pork boy, the breakfast monkey.

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  4. #4
    Never been a fan of using a bladed weapon to fight zombies. I mean, isn't the zombie infection spread by blood or body fluids? You start lopping off zombie heads, arms, gonads, spleens... blood's going to go everywhere. That's why I advocate a good heavy blunt weapon. Like a medium sized sledgehammer. Good impact and clears a path.

    Can zombies climb trees?

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    BJJ is useless against sniper-fu.
    Psalms 144:1
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    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanjuro_ronin View Post
    BJJ is useless against sniper-fu.
    How about them stalk lanes, eh?
    The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanjuro_ronin View Post
    BJJ is useless against sniper-fu.
    at long range maybe but try using that big ass rifle when i have you in side control

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frost View Post
    at long range maybe but try using that big ass rifle when i have you in side control
    Dude, outside of a .50 caliber, most sniper rifles are not any longer ( and some even shorter) than a typical rifle.
    Side control with with a rifle over the opponents neck and the rifle strap around it, works very well
    Psalms 144:1
    Praise be my Lord my Rock,
    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanjuro_ronin View Post
    Dude, outside of a .50 caliber, most sniper rifles are not any longer ( and some even shorter) than a typical rifle.
    Side control with with a rifle over the opponents neck and the rifle strap around it, works very well
    ill bow to your experience as i have never grappled with a rifle and i know my limitations...i think

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frost View Post
    ill bow to your experience as i have never grappled with a rifle and i know my limitations...i think
    Its better than grappling with a gun or knife !
    Psalms 144:1
    Praise be my Lord my Rock,
    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by MightyB View Post
    Never been a fan of using a bladed weapon to fight zombies. I mean, isn't the zombie infection spread by blood or body fluids? You start lopping off zombie heads, arms, gonads, spleens... blood's going to go everywhere. That's why I advocate a good heavy blunt weapon. Like a medium sized sledgehammer. Good impact and clears a path.

    Can zombies climb trees?
    You obviously have no friggin' clue about what you're talking about. Seriously, you've seen too many movies. The infection spread by the unholy hellspawn of Satan's malfeasance is in the saliva, and nothing else.
    1bad65--They Call Him Ore Ida, the Tater-Terminator
    http://www.freewebs.com/shaolinninjitsu/
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega-Foot View Post
    We had to shut down our first Shaolin Ninjitsu in Shangdong when a key mistranslation of ancient scrolls led to the entire clan bowing down to incense and burning buddhas everywhere in the province.
    Quote Originally Posted by John Takeshi View Post
    Trolling? What does fishing have to do with this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega-Foot View Post
    Ashida Kim taught me everything I ever needed to know about the missile dropkick.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanjuro_ronin View Post
    Its better than grappling with a gun or knife !
    is it better than wrestling with a guy that weighs 300 pounds and doen't wear a t-shirt?!

  13. #13
    That does make you think, though. Can Satan's legions have AIDS? Like, doesn't AIDS die when it comes into contact with oxygen?

    Don't zombies breathe? I mean, they moan, so they must be able to breathe....so maybe they could have AIDS. But if they don't breathe, and they do have AIDS, and still they moan, maybe using a katana would put you at risk for AIDs.........but still, it's probably a smaller probability of contracting AIDS than from hump-wrestling your BJJ brothers into submission on a filthy AIDS-strewn floor. You never know where crackheads leave their needles. Sometimes I think they hide 'em, to get you when you least expect it.
    1bad65--They Call Him Ore Ida, the Tater-Terminator
    http://www.freewebs.com/shaolinninjitsu/
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega-Foot View Post
    We had to shut down our first Shaolin Ninjitsu in Shangdong when a key mistranslation of ancient scrolls led to the entire clan bowing down to incense and burning buddhas everywhere in the province.
    Quote Originally Posted by John Takeshi View Post
    Trolling? What does fishing have to do with this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mega-Foot View Post
    Ashida Kim taught me everything I ever needed to know about the missile dropkick.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frost View Post
    is it better than wrestling with a guy that weighs 300 pounds and doen't wear a t-shirt?!
    Those are the people you shoot 300 yards away.
    Psalms 144:1
    Praise be my Lord my Rock,
    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanjuro_ronin View Post
    Those are the people you shoot 300 yards away.
    LMAO thanks for that

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