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Thread: Ninja FAIL

  1. #1
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    Ninja FAIL

    Felt like a new thread was needed for this. There will surely be some crossover from Bad Day for Wannabe Bruce Lees & Bad Day for Samurai Wannabes. And there's a lot of archived Ninja Fails like Panty Ninja!!!! & metally disturbed ninja stabs parents (I know there's more but ninja calls up over 500 threads on a search and I wasn't going to invest *that* much work into this).

    Police say burglar crawls into bed with Canton couple
    By Robert Wang
    CantonRep.com staff writer
    Posted Aug 10, 2010 @ 11:21 PM
    CANTON —

    Often during a burglary, an intruder enters the home, perhaps causes some property damage, steals some items and leaves.

    But in a burglary early Tuesday, an unshaven homeless man went into a residence in the 1300 block of 13th Street SE, apparently through an unlocked door, entered the kitchen, placed a can of noodles and pack of cigarettes into his pocket and then crawled into bed with the home’s occupant and his wife, according to a police report.

    The report does not disclose how the occupant realized there was a third person in his bed during the incident, which took place around 2:45 a.m. But at some point, the intruder fled through a side or back door.

    A police supervisor, who wasn’t on duty during that morning shift, read additional details from the dispatcher’s notes. Police found the man, who was wearing a dark baseball cap, peeking through a window of a home in the 1400 block of 13th Street SE and took him into custody.

    The report and court records identified the arrested man as Michael C. Phillips, 22, with no address.

    “He told the officers he’s a ninja and knows mixed martial arts,” the supervisor read from the notes, adding that Phillips, described as roughly 5 feet 8-inches tall and 160 pounds, is also known by his moniker of “Snake Eyes.”

    Phillips was charged with felony burglary and a misdemeanor count of possessing marijuana. He is scheduled to appear today in Canton Municipal Court.

    The report said police suspect that Phillips consumed alcohol and drugs. He was wearing a white T-shirt and blue shorts.

    The home’s occupants, whom the report said were not physically harmed, could not be reached for comment Tuesday night. The police sergeant who was on duty that morning was out on patrol and also couldn’t be reached.
    Gene Ching
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  2. #2
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    ttt

    Evil ninjas terrorise Pittsburgh
    Rob Beschizza at 4:50 PM Monday, Apr 25, 2011

    A spate of mysterious crimes carried out by ninjas has left Pittsburghers annoyed and confused.

    In the latest event, a sword-wielding ninja smashed 11 cars in South Union Township, PA. and tried to stab a man who confronted him, say police. Santino Guzzo said he heard glass breaking, found the ninja hiding in a yard, and was cut in the hand during the ensuing ninja escape.

    "He was like a gazelle that just got attacked by a lion," Guzzo told the Pittsburgh Trib. "He got up and fell, and got up and fell. Then he jumped off a cliff."

    Guzzo reported that he "did not move with the grace typically associated with a ninja" and that he therefore "will not live in fear of the ninja's return."

    WTAE news, quoting neighbor Chelsey Cunningham, said the ninja also left behind "like, a fifth of liquor."

    A few weeks ago in Scottdale, PA, a man was charged with child endangerment after leaving his 4-year old child at home alone. Police insist that Ross Hurst, 28, was dressed in ninja garb when approached. Hurst denies being a ninja and says it was all a misunderstanding.

    "I wasn't playing ninja," Hurst told WPXI news. "I wasn't playing anything. I went out for a jog."

    Not long ago, two sword-wielding ninjas robbed a gas station in Richland Township, PA, taking with them cash, cigarettes and lottery tickets.

    "It did appear they were dressed like ninjas," said local police chief Robert Amman. Local businessman Rick Lekki reported that it happened just across from his bar.

    "It's shocking. Things like that just don't happen out here. I just can't believe it happened," Lekki told a local news affilliate, narrowing his eyes as a menacing, discordant note escaped an unseen shakuhachi flute.
    Get your ninja gear here, even if you're from Pittsburgh.
    Gene Ching
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  3. #3
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    Weak pathetic ninjas...
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  4. #4
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    Check your sales Gene, maybe you can help police in Pitts track down their Sho Kosugi.

  5. #5
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    Can't out the ninjas without a court order

    Come on now, Brule. Just think how bad that would be for business. However, MartialArtsMart always complies with the law, so if you've got a court order...
    Gene Ching
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    My bad

    Continue with your Ninja Gear spending spree here

  7. #7
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    Don't carry your throwing stars in your carry on

    Would they bust you for rubbers? TSA probably would.
    Throwing star found in woman's carry-on at airport
    Lori Consalvo, Staff Writer
    Posted: 07/11/2011 05:51:01 PM PDT

    For the second time in a little over a month, a martial arts throwing star was discovered inside a passenger's carry-on bag.

    Transportation Security Administration officers stopped Courtney Susan Brown, 18, Saturday when the weapon was spotted during an x-ray screening at LA/Ontario International Airport, according to a police statement.

    Brown, bound for Phoenix, was taken into custody, cited and released for possessing a prohibited weapon, officials said.

    In June, TSA officers discovered two martial arts throwing stars in the carry on bag of a passenger. The man, bound for Phoenix, was arrested and charged with possession of a deadly weapon, according to a TSA news release.

    Martial arts throwing stars and other self-defense items can be placed in checked baggage but are not allowed in carry-ons.

    With any kind of illegal item, passengers have a reason for carrying it, said Nico Melendez a TSA Public Affairs Manager. Excuses range from absent-mindedness to gifts and souvenirs.

    "But the fact is throwing stars, brass knuckles - they're illegal not only at the airport but in the streets and if you're found with them you're arrested there too," Melendez said.

    There have been other weapon recently discovered at the Ontario airport:

    - July - a man traveling to Phoenix was arrested after TSA officers found a 9 mm firearm loaded with eight rounds of ammunition in his carry-on bag during the x-ray screening process.

    -June - police questioned a Denver-bound
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    man who had six rounds of .45 caliber ammunition in his carry on bag. Officials seized the and the man was cleared for travel. He was not charged or cited.

    - May - a loaded, undeclared .22 caliber hand gun was found inside a man's checked bag. The gun, which belonged to the passenger, was released back to him after officials conducted a criminal records check on the man and the weapon.

    - April - a man was taken into custody at the Ontario airport after security officers discovered a collapsible batton inside his carry-on bag. The Oakland-bound passenger was arrested for possessing a deadly weapon.

    But it's not just a local problem.

    Other Southern California airports - including Burbank, John Wayne, and LAX - have been subject to weapons arrests - both ordinary and unusual.

    "One passenger had three throwing stars (in their carry-on) another had an antique shot gun," Melendez said. "It happens quite frequently."
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  8. #8
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    stoner ninjas

    Okay, 'fess up. Who's ninjas were these?
    Medical marijuana delivery man reports he was robbed by ninjas in West Covina
    Posted: 03/25/2012 11:39:58 AM PDT

    WEST COVINA - Police are looking into a bizarre report of a medical marijuana robbery involving two attackers dressed as ninjas, officials said.

    Police received the strange report shortly before 10 p.m. Friday from a medical marijuana delivery man who said he had been robbed in the 800 block of South Sunset Avenue, near Cameron Avenue, after making a delivery to a patient West Covina police Lt. Alan Henley said.

    The delivery man, who was in his 40s, told police that, "As he was going back to his vehicle, he was approached by two subjects in ninja costumes who chased him with batons," the lieutenant said.

    "The victim said he was scared and he dropped a bag with some marijuana and money. The suspects took it," Henley added.

    It was not clear how much cash or pot was taken, police added.

    The incident remained under investigation. Police were not aware of any other recent crimes involving suspects dressed as ninjas.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  9. #9
    Police were not aware of any other recent crimes involving suspects dressed as ninjas.
    Nor should they be...

  10. #10
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    1.5-3 years for a star?

    Oh. A Kung Fu star. All I gotz is Ninja Stars. No worries then.
    Olean Man Sentenced to Jail For Possessing a Kung Fu Star
    By Mitch Simon
    May 29, 2013 Updated May 29, 2013 at 3:41 PM EDT

    CITY OF OLEAN, N.Y. (WKBW) - An Olean man has been sentenced to one and a half to three years in prison for possessing a kung fu star when he had previously been convicted of a crime.

    The incident occurred on August 30th, 2012, when sheriffs arrested 22-year-old Jesse Bartlett.

    Bartlett was sentenced for his conviction of third degree Attempted Criminal Possession of a Weapon, a class E felony.
    Gene Ching
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  11. #11
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    ninja robber busted

    Ahkinea looks disturbingly like a friend of mine...
    'Ninja robber' Ahkinea Cox sentenced to 25 years in prison
    Jun. 7, 2013 |

    Ahkinea Cox, aka Lil Bit / Johnson County Sheriff's Office
    Written by
    Josh O’Leary
    Iowa City Press-Citizen

    The prolonged legal saga of Ahkinea Cox, which began with a string of robberies in 2008 that earned him the nickname “the ninja robber,” came to its end in Johnson County District Court with his sentencing Friday.

    Following a plea deal struck last month, Judge Mitchell Turner sentenced Cox to a maximum of 25 years in prison, under which he will serve a mandatory term of at least 17 1/2 years.

    Cox, 33, received 25 years after pleading guilty to first-degree robbery for robbing of a Gasby’s gas station on Gilbert Street in November 2008. He also received a pair of 10-year sentences for second-degree robbery for his part in the holdups of Hy-Vee and Delimart that same year. Cox will serve the terms concurrently, with a 70 percent mandatory minimum term.

    Cox’s court-appointed lawyer, Mark Meyer, filed a constitutional challenge to the mandatory sentencing provision Friday, arguing that such provisions are often enacted by the legislature in reaction to a single tragic event to show that lawmakers are “tough on crime.” Meyer said that encroaches on his client’s constitutional rights because none of the specific factors in Cox’s case can then be taken into account in the sentencing, particularly his “rotten social upbringing.”

    Cox’s mother abandoned him at a young age, his father was a crack addict and Cox was an abused child, Meyer said.

    Meyer also said Cox’s limited intelligence should be taken into account: “All the experts agree Mr. Cox has the intellectual capabilities of a child, essentially.”

    Assistant Johnson County Attorney Anne Lahey said Cox must be being treated like anyone else convicted of such offenses.

    “We think it’s important Mr. Cox be incarcerated for the protection of the community,” she said.

    Turner told Meyer the judicial branch has no authority to change the terms of a plea deal, other than to reject it, and he saw no reason to do so Friday.

    Cox, a.k.a. Lil Bit, was caught in the act by police while robbing a Gasby’s in 2008 at knife point. Police then tied him to the pair of earlier robberies, including the Delimart holdup in which two men dressed in black, ninja-like attire robbed the clerk and a customer at gunpoint.

    In 2010 a judge dismissed the charges, ruling that Cox did not receive a trial within one year as required, prosecutors had argued that the time taken to to perform a mental competency evaluation should have pushed that one-year mark back. The dismissal was later appealed and reversed, but Cox fled the state before he could face charges again. He was arrested in November 2011 in Dundee, Ill., on outstanding warrants.

    Cox, who has been behind bars for 49 months over the past five years, according to Meyer, asked the judge whether his time served would be subtracted from the sentence. Turner said that would be a decision made by the Department of Corrections.

    In addition to the prison sentence, Cox was ordered to pay $1,467 and $1,340 in restitution to Delimart and Hy-Vee.
    Gene Ching
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  12. #12
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    Slightly OT...

    I suppose this could be viewed as a ninja success as he hasn't been caught...
    Neighborhood Flasher Wearing Ninja Outfit Continues to Elude N.C. Police Using This Tactic
    Nov. 9, 2013 11:44am Oliver Darcy

    An individual flashing neighborhood residents while wearing a ninja costume has continued to elude police by reportedly running into wooded areas.

    WSOC-TV reported Friday that the man “seems to escape from police running to wooded areas” as a way “to hide.”

    According to individuals who have seen the suspect, the man wears a ninja costume, but is naked below the waist.

    “He had what looked like a ninja hood, a mask covering his face and a black shirt and nothing on below his waist,” Michael Collins, a witness, told WSOC-TV.

    “At first, we thought it was just a young kid doing a prank but it’s scary to actually find out it’s a guy parading around the streets here,” John Salamone, neighbor, added.

    Police reportedly do not believe the man has physically harmed anyone, but are eager to catch him before that potentially changes.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  13. #13
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    This is more like it

    A true ninja fail

    Professor’s son dressed in ninja costume caused campus lockdown: police
    By Cheryl K. Chumley
    The Washington Times
    Tuesday, November 5, 2013


    David Kyem. (Screen grab from CBS News/WFSB-TV)

    The son of a professor was to blame for a police-ordered lockdown at Central Connecticut State University that lasted more than three hours and included talk of weapons and shots fired, authorities said Tuesday.

    University heads said professor Peter Kyem’s son, David Kyem, 21, was arrested on breach of peace charges and freed on a $1,000 bail, CBS reported. He was faulted for the campus chaos on Monday. Police never recovered any weapons and said those on the campus were never in danger.

    They also declined to release further details about Mr. Kyem’s charges or about the incident.

    The suspect’s father, however, said to CBS that his son went to a three-day, off-campus party and returned to the school still in costume — as a ninja. He also said his son didn’t have a weapon — only a plastic gun — and that all was fine.

    “He assured me that there’s nothing happening,” the elder Mr. Kyem said, in CBS. “Apparently they had isolated him in his room, and he didn’t know.”

    Police reported that the suspect didn’t struggle when he was arrested.

    “We had no real threat to students or faculty,” said Chris Cervoni, chief of police at the campus, in the CBS report.

    Gene Ching
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  14. #14
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    No self-respecting ninja would carry a gun. Even a plastic one. Fail.

  15. #15

    'Thief' turns out to be ninja trainee

    http://www.thelocal.se/20140829/poli...tockholm-ninja

    A nervous neighbour called police to warn that "a masked thief clad entirely in black" had jumped down from the balcony of the house next door.

    But reports surfaced this week that the thief was no thief. The leap was simply a ritual part of advanced ninja training.

    One of the neighbour's sons had decided to devote himself to wall-scaling and acrobatic tricks - while dressed as a ninja, naturally.

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