Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 79

Thread: Tiger Mothers and FOB Moms

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    44,294

    Tiger Mothers and FOB Moms

    If you're a parent, you probably caught this NYT article. It's created quite a stir.
    But Will It All Make ‘Tiger Mom’ Happy?
    By JANET MASLIN
    Published: January 19, 2011

    “There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids’ true interests,” Amy Chua writes. She ought to know, because hers is the big one: “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” a diabolically well-packaged, highly readable screed ostensibly about the art of obsessive parenting. In truth, Ms. Chua’s memoir is about one little narcissist’s book-length search for happiness. And for all its quotable outbursts from Mama Grisly (the nickname was inevitable), it will gratify the same people who made a hit out of the granola-hearted “Eat, Pray, Love.”

    You might wonder how this is possible. In “Eat, Pray, Love,” Elizabeth Gilbert presented herself as a seeker of solace, whereas Ms. Chua eagerly overacts the role of wicked witch. The litany of her outrages has made her an instant conversation piece. What kind of mother throws her 3-year-old out in the cold? (“You can’t stay in the house if you don’t listen to Mommy.”) Or complains that her family’s pet rabbits aren’t smart enough? (“They were unintelligent and not at all what they claimed to be.”) Or, most memorably, makes her two daughters’ music lessons so grueling that one girl leaves tooth marks on the piano?

    Ms. Chua claims that this is the essence of tough Chinese parenting, as opposed to the lax Western kind. And already her book has a talking point: What does she mean by Chinese and Western? She is of Chinese descent, but she grew up in the American Midwest. (“How I wished I could have a bologna sandwich like everyone else!”) She became a law professor and now teaches at Yale. She and her husband, another Yale law professor, hired a Chinese nanny to speak Mandarin, though Ms. Chua doesn’t speak it herself. Ms. Chua grew up as a Roman Catholic, but her daughters were raised as Jews.

    So she admits to using the term “Chinese mother” loosely — so loosely that even “a supersuccessful white guy from South Dakota (you’ve seen him on television)” told her his working-class father was a Chinese mom. (The book carries an “it will leave you breathless” blurb from South Dakota’s own Tom Brokaw.) And what she uses “Chinese mother” to mean is this: driven, snobbish and hellbent on raising certifiably Grade A children. Ms. Chua contrasts these attitudes with the sappy “Western” ones that can be found in Disney movies, where a mere romp in the ocean can be construed as a happy ending.

    “That’s just Disney’s way of appealing to all the people who never win any prizes,” she says.

    Ms. Chua was not about to raise prizeless slackers. She wanted prodigies, even if it meant nonstop, punishing labor. So “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” chronicles its author’s constant demanding, wheedling, scolding and screaming. It describes seemingly endless piano and violin sessions that Ms. Chua supervised. (Her own schedule of teaching, traveling, writing and dealing with her students goes mostly unmentioned — and would require her to put in a 50-hour workday.) And it enforces a single guiding principle that is more reasonable than all the yelling suggests: “What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it.”

    If this were the entirety of “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” this book would not be destined for major best sellerdom. But Ms. Chua’s story has been shaped according to a familiar narrative arc, the one that ensures that her comeuppance will occur, that her children will prove wiser than she and that other not-all-that-far-from-Disney things will happen. When it’s time to fess up to shortcomings (“the truth is I’m not good at enjoying life”) and smell the roses at the end of the book, Ms. Chua deploys her sister’s illness to provide the necessary dose of carpe diem.

    Wherever she is in this slickly well-shaped story, Ms. Chua never fails to make herself its center of attention. When her older daughter, Sophia, was a baby, “she basically slept, ate and watched me have writer’s block until she was a year old.” (The italics here are mine.) “Sophia,” she later explains, “you’re just like I was in my family.” When she pitches what’s already become her most notorious fit over the girls’ amateurishly made birthday cards, Ms. Chua declares, “I spend half my salary on stupid sticker and eraser party favors” for their birthdays, adding “I deserve better than this.” And when Jed fails to honor Ms. Chua’s birthday with reservations at a good enough restaurant, and the family ends up at a so-so one, he too is in hot water.

    Jed? Yes, Jed. Ms. Chua’s husband plays a large role in this story, even if he is made to sound like her hapless foil. He is presented as a handsome, charming and amazingly patient man, especially since his mother and wife had some similar traits. (His mother, according to the book, was once “aghast” at the cheeses Ms. Chua chose for a party and demanded better ones.) Jed is the fixture without which Ms. Chua’s book would not be possible. And he is often wrong, wrong, wrong about child rearing, which means that the reader will think he is right.

    Jed happens to be Jed Rubenfeld, a novelist as well as a lawyer. His first book, a richly textured historical thriller, “The Interpretation of Murder,” was published in 2006. When Ms. Chua runs up expenses for extra music lessons in “Tiger Mother,” Jed is quoted as saying, “I’d better start on a sequel now.”

    That sequel, “The Death Instinct,” is about to come out. It lacks the sensationalism to rise as high on the charts as Ms. Chua’s book, but it’s a well-executed work of escapism and an emphatically good read. Set in the post-World War I era, it has a notably smart, well-educated heroine and features Sigmund Freud as a character. For reasons about which “Tiger Mother” readers can speculate, Mr. Rubenfeld sends Freud delving into the causes of shell shock.
    Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
    Amy Chua

    An awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one mother's exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards-and the costs-of raising her children the Chinese way.

    All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. What Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the remarkable results her choice inspires.

    Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do:

    • have a playdate

    • be in a school play

    • complain about not being in a school play

    • not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama

    • play any instrument other than the piano or violin

    • not play the piano or violin

    The truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin.

    Of course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene:

    "According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:

    1. Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse.

    2. I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality.

    3. If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!"

    But Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in her sacrifices-the exacting attention spent studying her daughters' performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons-the depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern and Western parenting- and the lessons parents and children everywhere teach one another.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    44,294

    At the same time, there's My Mom is a FOB

    This started as a blog. Now it's a book. Two interesting takes on Asian moms published at the same time.
    Believe it or not, My Mom is a Fob is now available in print! Not only does the book showcase your favorite entries as well as never-before-published submissions, it also features essays by the authors, Teresa and Serena Wu, and a forward by comedian Margaret Cho! Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon, Borders, or Barnes & Noble!

    Fob (noun)-derived from the acronym F.O.B. (“fresh off the boat”)

    Does your mom still make Peking duck instead of turkey on Thanksgiving, own a giant cleaver, or take twenty-four more napkins than she needs at Chipotle?

    Your mom may be a fob.

    Through their hit blog “My Mom Is a Fob,” Teresa and Serena Wu have seized ownership of this formerly derogatory term, applying it instead to the heartfelt, hilarious, and thoroughly unique ways that Asian mothers adapt to American culture, from the perspective of those who love them most: their children.

    Through texts, emails, phone calls, and more, My Mom Is a Fob showcases the stories of a community of Asian-American kids who know exactly what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that amazing, unconditional, and sometimes misspelled love. It’s about those Asian mothers who refuse to get in the car without their sun-protective arm sheaths, the ones who send us passive-aggressive text messages “from the dog” in hopes that we’ll call home, and email us unsolicited advice about everything from ****sexuality to constipation. In these pages you’ll find solace in the fact that thousands of moms out there are as painfully nosy, unintentionally hilarious, and endearingly fobby as yours is.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Canada!
    Posts
    23,101
    I can't stop frowning at Chinese mom's in the neighbourhood now.

    Thanks a lot Amy!

    j/k
    Kung Fu is good for you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    CA, USA
    Posts
    4,885
    I find it interesting that people say "Asian mothers" when the subject is supposedly Chinese mothers. That's akin to saying "European mothers" when they mean (for example) German mothers.

    It's true, a lot of people nowadays coddle their kids, but there are definite positives to developing individuality and freedom of thought. Becoming a better, repressed robot isn't all that superior, IMO.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    36th Chamber
    Posts
    12,419
    I'd let this tiger mom blow my battle hymn

    He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher. -- Walt Whitman

    Quote Originally Posted by David Jamieson View Post
    As a mod, I don't have to explain myself to you.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    44,294

    Asian vs. Chinese

    I hear what you're saying, Jimbo. Caught this on PBS News Hour recently.
    REPORT AIR DATE: Jan. 21, 2011
    In Hypercompetitive South Korea, Pressures Mount on Young Pupils
    SUMMARY
    Margaret Warner reports from Seoul, where extraordinary student commitment has helped the nation's 15 year olds rank second in the world in reading and fourth in math, well ahead of their American counterparts. Many students take private lessons in addition to required coursework, but the pressure can create serious stress.

    Transcript

    JEFFREY BROWN: Next: making the grade where the pressure is on.

    MARGARET WARNER: Just outside Seoul, high school freshman Yoo Jae Won gets ready to study, his mom and dad, both doctors, already out the door, big sister away at school. So that means all the more time to spend with the lovely Ms. Lee (ph).

    Jae Won's virtual teacher leaves this 16-year-old with virtually no time off, and that's the way he wants it.

    YOO JAE WON, high school freshman: I think I need to study and work harder for my future.

    MARGARET WARNER: That's a widespread belief in South Korea, where extraordinary passion for education is the norm.

    Have we mentioned Jae Won is on his two-month winter holiday? No matter. He began his day by walking in the biting cold past a billboard touting perfect-scoring students to a 90-minute math tutoring session and study hall.

    The tutoring was at a private cram school, or hagwon. From early morning until late at night, six days a week, nearly 60 percent of South Korean youngsters look for a leg up by adding hagwons on top of their public school load.

    That kind of dedication -- some say obsession -- has catapulted South Koreans into the top tier of educational achievement. In world rankings of 15 year-olds released last November, South Korean students scored second in reading. American kids were 17th. And they scored fourth in math. Americans came in at 31st.

    KATHLEEN STEPHENS, U.S. ambassador to South Korea: Koreans have something they call (SPEAKING KOREAN) which means education fever.

    MARGARET WARNER: U.S. Ambassador Kathleen Stephens first came to South Korea in the '70s as a Peace Corps volunteer, teaching some 70 young boys in an unheated classroom.

    KATHLEEN STEPHENS: The passion for education here is part of the Korean passion for excellence. And that is what has given this country such dynamism, such vibrancy, such success, even in the face of -- of very daunting circumstances.

    KIM KYONG-DONG, Korea Development Institute: The very first phrase of Confucius Analects goes -- I quote -- "To learn and to practice and repeat it every time, every day, isn't this joy?"

    MARGARET WARNER: Korean society is permeated by values reflecting the teachings of the ancient Chinese scholar. But joy of learning is not the sole motivation.

    KIM KYONG-DONG: On the other hand, education is a channel for your social mobility. And if you want to become somebody in society, you want to go to a better college, better school, and study certain areas which will bring you higher status, and probably high income.

    MARGARET WARNER: This hyper-competitive personal drive is what jet-propelled resource-poor South Korea into the top ranks of world economies, from a war-torn wasteland, one of the globe's poorest countries 50 years ago to the 12th richest today.

    Shin Dongpyo runs the SDP Institute, a hagwon that specializes in teaching English, for a pretty price.

    SHIN DONGPYO, SDP Institute: We have competitive parenting going on here.

    MARGARET WARNER: Competitive parenting? Explain that.

    SHIN DONGPYO: You see your neighbor's kid speak better English than your kid, and you try to figure out what kind of English program he is getting and what kind of kindergarten he is attending. You have figured it out, and you send your kid to same kindergarten -- that kind of competition going on.

    MARGARET WARNER: Twenty-five-year-old Kim Tae-hoon, a student at SDP, says his hard-charging mother had him, even as a young child, attending specialized cram schools every day.

    KIM TAE-HOON, student: For a 10-year-old boy, that was big deal, and that was a big pressure for me. Throughout middle school and high school, the burden grew heavier. In my high school days, I had to go to school in the morning, like 6:20, and school ended up around midnight. So, I was, yes, stressed out.

    MARGARET WARNER: High school is especially pressure-packed. College admission is seen as a make-or-break moment. Scoring well on the national entrance exams means a ticket to a better life.

    Is it ever enough?

    KIM TAE-HOON: I just feel like it is just ongoing and never-ending, and I have to study more and more, and I have to learn new things. But I never felt it's enough.

    (LAUGHTER)

    MARGARET WARNER: Preparing for that all-important college test means rote memorizing, says advanced English student Kim Eun Ji (ph), who enjoyed the give-and-take of her years in a U.S. school.

    STUDENT: In Korea, it's like teacher is just saying, just lecturing and, students are like writing and like trying to memorize it and just taking a test. That's -- that's all, I think, yes.

    MARGARET WARNER: Ambassador Stephens says some Koreans question why President Obama holds up Korea's educational system as a model.

    KATHLEEN STEPHENS: So, I have many Koreans who say to me, well, you know, Ambassador Stephens: If you know Korea so well, why aren't you explaining to President Obama that, really, our educational system is very problematical? Again, the education fever is too high here.

    MARGARET WARNER: The cost of all that schooling can also be crushing. The average South Korean family spends more than 10 percent of its income on after-hours cram schools, more spending per capita on private tutoring than any other country.

    Sadly, with more than 80 percent of high-schoolers going on to attend college, the demand for prestige jobs in big corporations outstrips the market, says Yonsei University economics Professor Lee Doowon.

    LEE DOOWON, economics professor, Yonsei University: All of these 500,000 college graduates are looking for decent jobs. And the decent jobs are jobs in large companies. But those jobs are limited, 200,000, or definitely less than 250,000.

    MARGARET WARNER: Some 8 percent of the under-30 set are unemployed, more than twice Korea's enviably low overall unemployment rate. That relentless pressure on students, graduates and their parents takes another toll.

    LEE DOOWON: When young students are lagging behind in their classes, they get blamed by their parents, and they blame themselves. And, sometimes, they blame themselves so hard, that it's going to lead themselves to suicide.

    MARGARET WARNER: A higher percentage of Koreans kill themselves than in any other country in the developed world. The nation's suicide rate of more than 20 per 100,000 is more than double the U.S. average.

    Young Yoo Jae Won feels the pressure even if he scores below his classmates on one test.

    YOO JAE WON: I think negative thinking: I'm not really competitive to others. I'm not a smart student, or I can't go to a good university.

    MARGARET WARNER: Does that thought scare you?

    YOO JAE WON: Sometimes. If I go to a bad university, I can be ignored by other people.

    BAE EUN-HEE, national assemblywoman, Republic of Korea (through translator): We really need to redefine what is success. Like, money is not everything.

    MARGARET WARNER: National Assemblywoman Bae Eun-hee, who sits on the Education Committee, says something has to be done. South Korea must promote more vocational and other alternatives for its young people, she says, and there needs to be a national conversation about what real achievement is.

    BAE EUN-HEE (through translator): We need to rethink our views on success. It is now time for South Korean society to allow diversity about what is successful. Being happy is also success.

    MARGARET WARNER: By that measure, these kids seem wildly successful. Singing and dancing at song rooms is a favorite pastime here, a way for many young people to blow off steam.

    (SINGING)

    Hundreds of thousands of those young Koreans who have come to this lookout over Seoul have left padlocks inscribed with their personal hopes and dreams for a future filled with happiness, if they can just take the time to enjoy it.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Canada!
    Posts
    23,101
    Odd...not sure we do that up here.

    I guess the Chinese are so prominent a part of our population that we call them "Chinese".

    Average Canadians keep their Asians separated and properly categorized.

    Except for people from Sri Lanka, India and Pakistan who are all blanketed with "South Asians" or "Desi".
    Kung Fu is good for you.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    44,294

    It's the Great American Melting pot...

    ...not the Great Canadian melting pot.

    I'm now curious. Who here was raised by a Tiger Mom or a FOB? I wasn't. My parents were fairly indulgent as I did pretty well academically. They let me pursue martial arts instead of violin and piano. Look where that got me.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Canada!
    Posts
    23,101
    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing View Post
    ...not the Great Canadian melting pot.

    I'm now curious. Who here was raised by a Tiger Mom or a FOB? I wasn't. My parents were fairly indulgent as I did pretty well academically. They let me pursue martial arts instead of violin and piano. Look where that got me.
    My parents were hippies who tried nothing and then ran out of ideas.
    Kung Fu is good for you.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    44,294

    Catch Obama's State of the Union last night?

    He got a standing ovation with the South Korean notion of referring to teachers as 'nation builders'. Quite right, that. Quite right.

    The reason I lumped Tiger Mothers and FOB Moms together on this thread is this growing awareness about Asian parenting methods, which I feel is tempered by rampant Confucianism. The South Korean educational model fits right in there too.

    Laurence Hughes
    Writer, Book Flack
    Posted: January 25, 2011 11:09 AM
    The Battle Hymn of the Tigger Mother

    One morning Pooh was awakened by a bouncing sound outside his house. He heard a stern voice shouting "Bounce! Bounce!" over and over the way a drill instructor might shout it. Pooh had never heard a drill instructor before so that is what it sounded like to him.

    He decided he ought to go outside to investigate. On the way to the door he stopped at his larder and lifted down a pot of honey to take with him. If his investigation took a very long while, he could at least be sure that he wouldn't miss his breakfast.

    Outside he found Tigger bouncing furiously and the Tigger Mother shouting at Tigger to bounce more and more, and telling him "That's not good enough!" and calling him "lazy" and "pathetic" and "garbage" and other names.

    "Hallo, Tigger," said Pooh. But Tigger was too exhausted and too afraid to stop bouncing to return Pooh's greeting. "Hallo, Tigger Mother," said Pooh.

    "Tigger has no time to waste with friends," said the Tigger Mother. "He's practicing his bouncing."

    "Bouncing is what Tigger's do best," gasped Tigger.

    "You are not the best!" said the Tigger Mother. "You will keep bouncing until you are the best. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is required for excellence."

    "It looks like fine bouncing to me," said Pooh.

    "Let me see you bounce," the Tigger Mother said. "If you bounce better than Tigger, I'll make him practice three extra hours."

    "I don't have time for bouncing," said Pooh. "I have to pack because I'm going to visit my friend Rabbit for a few days."

    "You are not allowed to have sleepovers!" said the Tigger Mother.

    Pooh could not recall such a rule or who might have made it, but it seemed to him that since Rabbit's house is below ground, it was really more of a sleepunder.

    The Tigger Mother looked closely at the label on Pooh's honey pot. "How do you spell 'honey?'" she asked Pooh.

    "H-U-N-N-Y," Pooh replied, reading it carefully from the pot.

    "Wrong!" the Tigger Mother shouted. She bent down, got in Pooh's face and said, "You are a bear of very little brain!"

    "Yes," said Pooh.

    The Tigger Mother straightened. "I said that to motivate you."

    "But it's true," said Pooh. "Everyone says so."

    "Start bouncing!" the Tigger Mother ordered.

    "Oh dear," said Pooh. "How long must I bounce?"

    "Until you learn to spell perfectly," said the Tigger Mother. "Until you are the best speller in the Hundred Acre Wood. Until you stop being a disgrace."

    "Bother," said Pooh.

    "Bounce, you worthless loser," said the Tigger Mother, "or I'll tie a bag of hungry woozles to your face."

    So Pooh bounced, and not having much experience bouncing, he banged his head on a tree branch and disturbed a hive of angry bees and landed heavily in a gorse-bush and experienced many other whimsical yet painful complications which we will not enumerate here. But the Tigger Mother was insensitive to his discomfort and ordered him to keep bouncing.

    Now Piglet happened along and was surprised to find Pooh and Tigger bouncing furiously to the point of exhaustion, and was even more surprised when the Tigger Mother ordered him to start bouncing too.

    "I'm not here for bouncing," said Piglet. "I'm here to see if Pooh wants to play Pooh Sticks."

    "No playdates!" shouted the Tigger Mother. "No games! And no complaining about no games! Now bounce!"

    "I don't think I can bounce," said Piglet, "for I am a Very Small Animal. I'd rather play Pooh Sticks."

    "You may not choose your own extracurricular activities!" screamed the Tigger Mother. "Now bounce, or I'll burn your stuffed animals."

    "G-g-gracious!" cried Piglet. "I am a stuffed animal!"

    "You are lazy and stupid," the Tigger Mother said. "I will show you the proper way to bounce to get you started. Things are hardest at the beginning," And picking him up in her paws, she slammed that pigskin to the ground like Ahmad Bradshaw in the end zone. Poor Piglet didn't bounce at all, but just lay splayed where she spiked him.

    "Nothing is fun until you're good at it," the Tigger Mother explained to the motionless Piglet. "You must practice endlessly. Once you start to excel at something, you will win praise, admiration and satisfaction. Then it will become fun." But Piglet just let out a little moan and his eyes turned into tiny Xs.

    The Tigger mother knew that the proper response to Piglet's substandard performance was to excoriate, punish and shame him, which she intended to do if he ever regained consciousness.

    Time passed and the other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood came by. Owl and Rabbit brought a homemade birthday card they had made for the Tigger Mother, but the greeting read: hipy papy bthuthdth thuthda bthuthdy, so she said it wasn't good enough and ripped it up and threw it in their faces and called them worthless and made them start bouncing.

    When Eeyore arrived, the Tigger Mother said, "Hey fatty, you're as big as a heffalump -- lose some weight," and made him start bouncing too.

    Christopher Robin marched by beating his drum, but the Tigger Mother berated him because he wasn't playing a piano or violin, the only instruments anyone in her orbit was allowed to play. "I can't march with a piano or violin," Christopher Robin said. The Tigger Mother told him he was a pathetic weakling who wasn't trying hard enough, and if he just practiced practiced practiced he could march with a piano and that he'd better become the best piano marcher in the Hundred Acre Wood or else she'd give his drum to the Salvation Army. And she made him start bouncing.

    Finally Kanga came along to see why everyone was bouncing outside of Pooh's house, for she lived not far from Pooh in the Western part of the Hundred Acre Wood.

    "You Western parents coddle your children," the Tigger Mother said when she saw Roo riding in Kanga's pocket. "You worry about their self-esteem. You praise them for mediocre performance, afraid of hurting their feelings and bruising their egos. That is why your Roo will never excel at bouncing like my Tigger."

    "Well, I don't know about bouncing," said Kanga, "but my Roo is excellent at hopping."

    "Hopping?" snorted the Tigger Mother.

    "We'll show you, dear" Kanga said. Roo climbed out of Kanga's pocket and, using their powerful hind legs, they both began to hop.

    Now when it comes to hopping and bouncing, it is very difficult to tell the difference between the two. When the Tigger Mother saw Kanga and Roo hopping higher and faster than Tigger could bounce, she had a meltdown and tore her fur and screamed and wailed and threw herself prostrate on the ground, weeping and carrying on because she and her progeny had fallen short of perfection and she was unable to process the experience.

    Everyone took this as a cue to stop bouncing and fell to the ground gasping with exhaustion. Kanga put her arm around the Tigger Mother and dried her tears and said "There, there, dear" in an effort to boost her self-esteem and sooth her hurt feelings and bruised ego. Then she invited everyone back to her house, where she gave the Tigger Mother a much-needed dose of Roo's strengthening medicine.
    I haven't read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, but the author claims it's more of a memoir, not advice on parenting, and that it's being misinterpreted.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  11. #11
    I kinda compare these mothers to the rockhead parents who force their kids into sports and micromanage their lives in terms of athletics because thats the future they want for their kids, just in a different way (athletics vs sports).

    Education is important, but college is not for everyone. And no, I'm not like Judge Smales 'Well the world needs ditch diggers too' attitude. What if the kid wants to own a martial arts gym? Or be a mechanic? I say guide your children, but let them live life as they want as well (within reason). Don't let them drop out of high school, but let them have input. Even high schools offer some technical classes for those who know they are not headed to college.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    CA, USA
    Posts
    4,885
    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing View Post
    ...not the Great Canadian melting pot.

    I'm now curious. Who here was raised by a Tiger Mom or a FOB? I wasn't. My parents were fairly indulgent as I did pretty well academically. They let me pursue martial arts instead of violin and piano. Look where that got me.
    My parents were second-generation Japanese-Americans, and my dad came from a blue-collar background (farming, then tuna fisherman). My older siblings and I all turned out fine, but we were allowed to follow our own paths, and whatever successes and failures resulted from that. As a result, we all turned out completely different, but have done pretty well.

    I've had a few Chinese friends who acted uptight a lot of the time, and who had lots of pressure placed on them by their parents when they were young. They excelled scholastically, often lauded for it and all the stuff that goes with it, but I get the impression they haven't necessarily turned out as happier or better-adjusted people for it. In fact, quite the opposite in many cases.

    I think a lot of the super-high pressures that Tiger moms/parents put on their kids is so their kids will give them big 'face'. And for that mindset, there are only a narrow list of acceptable professions (such as engineer, doctor, etc.). Or for the few who excel at it, Western classical musician is the only artistic endeavor deemed worthwhile. I could be wrong, but it seems more about/for the parents themselves than for their kids.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Canada!
    Posts
    23,101
    Here's one:

    Zheng Jie is Chinese Tennis Champion. She is the first Chinese National that may take the grand slam in world Tennis.

    Her mother has stated openly she doesn't even watch her play.

    LOL and that's where the tiger mom bites her own ass.
    Kung Fu is good for you.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    44,294

    Coming to a theater near you

    'Joy Luck Club' Producers See Movie Promise in Tiger Mom Controversy
    7:26 PM 1/26/2011 by Bryan Alexander


    Amy Chua's memoir on parenting has captured the nation's attention, but can 'Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother' recreate the movie success of the 1989 film?

    Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother has sparked a furious debate about motherhood on the Internet -- much of it based around her accompanying Wall Street Journal essay, "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior." It has also captured the attention of Hollywood.

    The most recent big screen adaptation of a book touching on themes of mother-daughter relationships among Chinese-Americans is 1989's The Joy Luck Club ($33 million domestic gross). Two of the film's producers interviewed by The Hollywood Reporter have expressed a strong interest in seeing Chua's book brought to the screen.

    The national debate her memoir has sparked is one obvious reason for the entertainment industry interest. The extreme-parenting anecdotes about the author forcing her daughter to play the piano have prompted a record number of comments on the Wall Street Journal website (7,507 and counting).

    Ron Bass co-wrote the Joy Luck Club screenplay with the book's author, Amy Tan, and co-produced the movie. Bass was so excited about Chua's book as a movie prospect that he almost lied about its worth to throw others off the scent.

    "I was tempted to say, 'Nah, there's nothing here,' " he says. "And then I was going to have my agent find out if the rights were available. Not only is there a movie here, I definitely think it's more than one movie."

    In his estimation, the least interesting angle is the simple retelling of the Chua story.

    "If the question is whether Amy's story itself is a movie, of course it could be," he says. "Is that the best way to make the movie? I doubt it."

    The more gripping perspective would be a fictionalized account based on prevalent parenting themes in the book. But as for more specifics, Bass is keeping mum.

    "I'm not going to give you the take," he says. "There will be 300 other people going, 'ya, absolutely.' "

    One aspect he promises: "It wouldn't be a comedy."

    Fellow producer Patrick Markey believes Chua's work "absolutely has potential" for a movie.

    "There's some radical stuff here," Markey says. "To think of treating children like this. Those kids are going to be in therapy their entire lives.

    "It may not be a glowing portrayal of motherhood and raising kids," he adds. "But there's certainly a hell of a lot of controversy right now."

    As for middle-America being interested in the movie, Markey says, "there is a universal sense of the family that we all get. We can all learn something from this. That's why I think there is a movie here."

    If Chua's team has a deal, they are keeping it under wraps. A call to Chua's Los Angeles agent was met with a terse "no comment." And that was just the assistant. Chua's Penguin books press person had no comment as well.

    One Los Angeles literary agent who specializes in bringing properties to the big screen was skeptical of any theatrical aspirations. "I just don't see it; it's not jumping off the page at me," the agent says. "If anything, there's a better chance for a television show."

    While the national controversy is a plus for the screen possibilities, the agent adds that one prohibiting factor is the marketability of an Asian-American lead actress.
    The last line is the kicker.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Grand Rapids, MI
    Posts
    976
    I still like the Joy Luck Club...
    "The true meaning of a given movement in a form is not its application, but rather the unlimited potential of the mind to provide muscular and skeletal support for that movement." Gregory Fong

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •