I'll take another guess.

Your real name isn't Terence. It's Master Doosh Canoe. You've dropped too many friends, spent everyone's $$$, emBare-ASSed the BF Eng Chun dudes before they even had a chance in public, and now you're a hoM0 turncoat for the Ching blasting everyone in the face.

How's your Siu Lim Tao, btw?